So first Desmond is all just like, “AH’M FOOKIN NAKED, BROTHAH!!!” and we’re all like WTF!?
And Charlie and Claire are like, “We’re together now. That’s what this PDA means. Together.”
And then Locke is like, “I’m going to tell you a story via notepad, mmkay?”
So in this story there is this kid, and he’s just like, “I LOOK EXACTLY LIKE BILLY BOYD. And I need to FIND DOMINIC MONAGHAN!! PLEASE, MAN! HELP ME OUT!!”
And Flashback!Locke is like, “Actually…”
And not!Billy is like, “I just need…to lick him.”
So Locke was like, “He said he wanted to lick you. It was hilarious!”
And Charlie was like, “I only let the real Billy Boyd put his tongue anyway near me, thanks.”
And then Boone was like, “Surely you have not forgotten this face of mine.”
And then he was “The magical mystery tour has come to take you away.”
And Locke was like, “OMG!!!! CLAIRE/CHARLIE IS MY OTP!!! AND THEY HAVE BABIEZ!!!”
And Charlie and Claire were like, “WE ARE FREAKING ADORABLE.”
And then Locke was like, “Do I need to help Desmond??”
And Boone was like, “No, he is helping himself…”
“…to multiple stewardesses at a time. Nooch.”
And then Locke was like “LKJSFLKAD;LAFKD;ADFSA’;FLAK;SDL”
“I SHIP SKATE TOO ZOMG!!”
And then Benry Gale is all like, “I love sniffing Jack’s ass!” And Jack is all like *whistles*
And Locke is all, “NOES I WANT TO SNIFF JACK’S ASS!!!”
And then Zombie!Boone was all like, “BLOODYMARYBLOODYMARYBLOODYMARY!!!”
And then Locke was like, “I’M A CATEPILLAR!”
And then the polar bear was like “OMGWTFME!!11!!!!”
And then Not!Billy Boyd was like “Hi don’t forget about me over here.”
And then Dom was like, “I think my Pippin-sense is tingling…”
“…we are best friends! Have you ever heard of a little movie called LORD OF THE RINGS??”
And Locke was like, “Are you kidding me?? I COSPLAY DENETHOR!”
And Charlie was like, “Do you really…dress up like Denethor and parade around talking about Gondor?”
And Locke was like, “…I was going to ask you to be my Boromir…”
And Charlie was like, “I’m not gonna be your bleeding Boromir!! The name is Master Brandybuck, sry2say!!”
And so Locke was like, “Yes, Master Brandybuck!! I love hobbitz!!”
And Charlie was like, “Thatta boy, John!”
And then secretly John was like, “I WILL BURN LIKE THE HEATHEN KINGS OF OLD!!”
And meanwhile, Hurley was like “DUDE.”
And Desmond was like, “AH AM BUCK NAKED IN THA JUNGLE BROTHAH!! GET ME SOME CLOOOTHES!”
And Hurley was thinking Don’t look at his giant shlong. Don’t look at his giant shlong.
But Desmond was like, “It’s okay, mate. You can have a look.”
And later Hurley was like, “That dress really shows off your ass.”
And Locke and Charlie were carrying Eko through the jungle, and Charlie was like, “This was way funnier in Weekend at Bernie’s.”
And flashback!Locke was like, “Okay Billy. I think I can help you.”
And not!Billy was like, “You’d better not be shitting me, mister!” *sniff*
And Charlie was like, “John…does that mean…what I think…it means…”
And Locke was like, “I figured we could always use a Pippin in the cosplay group…”
And Charlie was like “What the…”
And real!Billy was like, “Hey, ‘sup?”
And Dom practically shit himself, not only because Billy Boyd made it onto the island, but also because it didn’t make any sense whatsoever, but Ack is tired so let’s just ignore that….
And they went and cosplayed in private for a while &hearts
