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Lost Recap 6×10: The Package

April 4th, 2010 § 80

This week on Lost, Sun bumps her head, Jin gets tied up, Mocke and Widmore declare war, Desmond sees a mermaid, and Patchy’s vision gets considerably worse.


First things first, either Predator is lurking around in the bushes or someone’s got some fancy shmancy night goggles! Either way we quickly realize that Sawyer looks just as good in green as he does in blue!

“So here’s the deal, Chief. I’ve seen the writing on the Wall, and it says you and me and your pretty little wife need to blow this pop stand, capisce?”

Jin: But Sun’s not here.
Mocke: Au contraire!
Jin: Wonderful. I am thrilled. Go and get her while I not-so-stealthily run away.
Mocke: Try to contain your enthusiasm. You’re being awfully VAPID.
ABC: This scene has been brought to you by the Letter V, on in 59 minutes!

***

Over in Sideways World, Jin is having a little communication breakdown with the airport cop, who, despite knowing that Jin speaks NO ENGLISH is still giving him this big explanation about how to get his $25,000 back!

Jin: Where’s my money? You gonna give me my money? Where’s my money, man??
Airport Cop: Why does this man insist on babbling at me in Korean, I don’t understand him! But I do expect him to understand me!
Jin: WHERE’S MY MONEY, MAN?

When Sun asks Jin what the money is for, he admits that he has no frakking idea! He tells Sun that he does whatever her father tells him to do because All the Best Hit Men Have Daddy-in-Law Issues!

So they get to their hotel, and when the guy behind the counter assumes that the two of them are married, Jin starts laughing and snapping his fingers in circles!

Jin: If she liked it then she shoulda putta ring on it!
Guy Behind Counter: Sister, PREACH!

***

Meanwhile Iraqi Eeyore strikes again, and he’s all “Ohhhh bother…I can’t feel anything anymore…no happiness…no sadness…no pent up rage…no remorse over killing a frillion people…I don’t even want to torcha…I feel like…I’m caught inside the swirling winds of a snore-nado…”

“Hey Mopey – I know it’s a Sun and Jin episode, but perk the hell up, we’ve got a couple of surprises up our sleeve!”

And Sawyer’s trying to get Jin to stay in Camp Locke-awana, but Jin’s not having it! He’s going to find Sun. That is, until out of nowhere we hear something whizzing through the air, and everyone starts dropping like flies, and we’re like “Whoops dart to your neck!”

Of course it’s these two jackasses from Team Widmore and their band of merry men. Making themselves even more unlikable than they already were, they knock EVERYONE out just to kidnap Jin! Who was about to run away anyway! Slowly, might I add! After all, how fast can you run when your leg is all bear trapped??

***

Back on the beach, everyone’s hanging around the kitchen table and Ben’s asking all these questions like “hhhhWhat do we do now?” and “hhhhWhy are we just sitting around?” and as it turns out, Ilana’s waiting for Richard to come back, despite the fact that he had just run off screaming about El Diablo the night before!

And when the Sun-bot heard this, her mechanisms began to malfunction and finally, after like 9 episodes of having zero personality, she stabbed her knife into the table and ran off!

Jack, sensing Sun’s anguish, picked up a bottle of water to replenish his moisture and was like, “Never fear! Jears Man is here!”

Miles: Sarcastic comment!
Lapidus: Witty reponse!

So Sun runs off to be alone in her garden, and Jears Man doesn’t take the hint and tries to comfort her. And we all know how good he is at that…

“There was this lighthouse! With all our names on it! We’re special, Sun! We are the chosen ones! This is our destiny! The stars have aligned! Other cliches!”

“YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT BEING THE CHOSEN ONE? YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY DESTINY? YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU? OR ANY OF THESE PEOPLE? I HAVEN’T SEEN MY HUSBAND IN 3 YEARS! I ABANDONED MY DAUGHTER IN KOREA TO COME HERE AND FIND JIN AND NOW ALL WE’RE DOING IT SITTING AROUND ON OUR ASSES, WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN!? I’M MAD AS HELL! AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!”

Jears Man: That was…wow. Bravo, Sun. Way to embrace those angry feelings. I’m so proud of y…
Sun: STFU AND GTFO BEFORE I SLAP YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD A COCONUT.
Jears Man: I’ll just be going now.

***

And then we found out what Sun was wearing under that oppressive beige cardigan of hers!!!

“Udders?” :)

*humming Papa Don’t Preach*

“Udders!?” :)

“UDDERS!!!!!!” :D

***

So a while later, Mocke rolls up to Sun’s garden party.

“Sun! How lovely to see you again! Your garden is looking absolutely splendiferous! I’ve come with an invitation. I WANT YOU! FOR THE MOCKE ARMY OF CHAMPIONS!”

Sun: No!! You killed all those people at the temple!!
Mocke: They were confused. Just like you are now. They didn’t want to come with me, so they had to die. But you should come with me. I will never make you do anything against your will unless you don’t do everything I say!
Sun: That doesn’t make sense! You’re a monster!
Mocke: Aw come on – let bygones be bygones!

So Sun runs away, and even though Mocke could just turn into Smokey and catch her in like 3 seconds, he’s like “You silly mortals with your fear and your will to live and your fight or flight responses…” and he runs after her on foot.

And since she’s running like the devil’s chasin’ her (which I mean in the most literal sense) she runs herself straight into a tree branch and knocks herself out, proving that while she may be a Candidate, she is still quite VINCIBLE!

ABC: This scene has been brought to you by the Letter V, on in 47 minutes!

***

Back in the Sideways World, Sun and Jin wake up after an udderly passionate night, and Sun’s all, “Let’s run away together! I have an account full of cash that I took from Daddy Paik! I’m sure this can’t end badly!”

And then she tells him that she has something important to tell him. We have a feeling it might be about her having a bun in the oven, and not that she saved a lot by switching to Geico or something.

She checks her Sideways Wig (Swig?) in the mirror, and we’re all like “OH SNAP, SHE’S LOOKING AT THE (WO) MAN IN THE MIRROR!”

JUST LIKE JACK DID!

AND SAWYER DID!

AND KATE DID!

AND HURLEY DID!

AND LOCKE DID!

AND SAYID DID!

AND BEN DID!

EEENTERESTING! *scratches chin contemplatively*

Anyway Jin runs and hides in the bathroom, and Sun opens the door and sees Keamy’s ugly mug, which frankly can never be a good sign.

***

Ben was out “gathering mangoes” when he found Sun unconscious on the ground! And he’s asking her what happened, but she’s all like “;lsfjadl;kjf;lakdsjfl;kasdjfs” and he can’t understand a damn word she’s saying!

Sun: asdlf’l;dsakfl;sd LOCKE ;dslkf’;alsdkf;lasd
Ben: Oh yippee, more subtitles.

***

Then Mocke goes back to his camp, and apparently he missed the memo because it’s obviously nap time!

Mocke: Did I tell you to let them all take a nap!? CHRIST. Now I’ll never be able to get them down tonight and everyone’s going to be cranky!!
Sayid: Sigh. We were attacked.
Mocke: WHERE IS JIN!? WHO ATTACKED YOU??
Sayid: Looked like…Tina Fey and Neville Longbottom…

***

Jin wakes up and he’s totally in Room 23!!! Which is awesome for us, but bad for him!

He flips the “Insta-Rave” switch and the music and lights and crazy brainwashy messages pop up immediately. Luckily he knew to turn it off right away, which is a good thing considering how VOLATILE mind control can be!

ABC: THIS SCENE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER V, ON IN 38 MINUTES. IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED YET. I KNOW WE WERE SUBTLE ABOUT IT SO WE JUST THOUGHT WE’D REMIND YOU GUYS. V.

And this stupid poor man’s Tina Fey shows up again, and she’s getting less likable with every moment that goes by! And she’s all, “I think you know a little somethin’ somethin’ about the Dharma Initiative, don’t you Mr. Kwon?”

Jin likes her as much as we do, so he goes to leave. But just like every other Other that has come before her, she conveniently has a Tazer, and before he can say “Don’t taze me bro!” she shocks the shit out of him.

She shows Jin these maps she’s got of the island that apparently came from the Dharma Initiative. They show all the Hot Pockets of energy! And Groovy 70’s Jin signed off on them 30 years/1 week ago!

“Now tell me where these Hot Pockets are! Now!!!”

Jin: This is the worst customer service ever. I demand to speak to your manager.
Tina Fey: Blerg!

***

Mocke: Sayid, are you a good swimmer?
Sayid: Well, I’m not so much a good swimmer as I am a hilarious swimmer.
Mocke: Works for me. Go get your swimmies. We’re taking a trip.

Mocke: What’s the matter, Claire Bear?
Claire: My name’s not on the cave, so you don’t need my help.
Mocke: Nonsense, my little buttercup! Kate’s name’s not on the cave either, and we need her!
Claire: But if this works and we all get off the island, Aaron will still think Kate’s his mother. He doesn’t even know me.

Mocke: Once Kate has served her purpose we can arrange a little AX-ident, if you catch my drift. *WINK* Whatever Happens, Happens.
Audience: *lol old episode title*
Claire: I love you, Daddy Mocke.
Mocke: Come give Papa Smokey the Bear a hug.

When Sawyer catches wind that Mocke and Sayid are taking their little boating trip, he’s like, “Can’t you just turn into smoke and fly your ass over there?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now if you would excuuuse me, I need to take my zombie friend here to the other island so I can start a war with a billionaire and some scientists, get off this island, and end the world. Good day to you sir.”

***

Back at the Heartbreak Hotel, Keamy’s lackey did a 3 second search of the room and found Jin standing there (thankfully shirtless) in the bathroom.

Just like that dumbass at the airport, Keamy insists on trying to have an entire conversation with two people who don’t understand a goddamn thing he’s saying. So he sends for a certain Russian guy who can speak 9 languages and make a mean glass of lemonade. A certain Russian name – MIKHAEL!!!!!

;DF’LDSKF’;LASDKFL;DS PATCHY! HOW WE’VE MISSED YOU! You’re looking so…binocular these days! Good for you, buddy!

And for those of you who didn’t recognize him…

So thanks to Patchy’s help, Sun and Jin explain that the money they owe Keamy got taken away at the airport, but Sun’s got some Rainy Day money stashed away in the bank! She’ll give him her money under one condition – that he doesn’t spill the beans about their little tryst to Daddy Paik, who as we know is a humungous douche.

***

Ben: I didn’t hurt her, I swear! How come no one believes me!?
Ilana: Because you’re The Boy Who Cried I-Found-Them-Laying-There-Unconscious!

Jears Man is explaining to Sun that she is suffering from aphasia (which is totally real, btw) so she can understand what everyone’s saying, but she can no speak-a the Inglés!

Jack: Don’t worry Sun! My brave little soldier! We will fix you yet!
Sun: Korean, motherfucker. DO YOU SPEAK IT!?

Miles: So she hits her head and now she can’t speak English? That’s believable.
Lapidus: Says the guy that talks to dead people and time traveled to the 70’s to hang out with his dad a few months after he was born.
Miles: Hey you know what, pal? You can just suck my – oh, just forget it. I can’t stay mad at that face.
Lapidus: Still got it.

And just then a certain Don Draper-looking mofo struts back onto the beach, sporting a hot new accessory! The bitch is back!

Richard: Pack your bags, we’re going on a VOYAGE.
ABC: 25 MINUTES!!! Surely someone somewhere cares about this show coming back, right! V!!

***

So Mocke shows up on the other island, and he is immediately peppered with bullets, none of which do jack shit to him, and Neville Longbottom comes out of the brush and is all freaking out, but Smokey just gives him a smile and says “I come in peace!”

(Which is something aliens say, which I’m sure ABC had nothing to do with.)

As it turns out, Widmore used Cylon pylon technology to build himself a little electric fence that Smokey can’t penetrate! Since he felt safe and sound on the other side of the fence, Widmore thought it was time to get down to brass tacks.

It was time for an Old White Bald Man Stand Off.

Mocke: Gimme Jin.
Widmore: I don’t got Jin.
Mocke: I think your pants are on fire, you liar.
Widmore: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Mocke: I do bite my thumb, sir.

Mocke: A wise man once said “Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”
Widmore: Yes, but the same wise man also said “Nitwit! Oddment! Blubber! Tweak!”
Mocke: Touché. But enough of these pleasantries – give me Jin or else you shall rue the day you crossed the Man in Black!
Widmore: Bring it on.
Mocke: Oh – it’s already been broughten.
Neville Longbottom: Oh snap, sir. I believe you just got served.

***

So Richard explains that in order to stop Smokey from leaving the island, they’re going to have to destroy the Ajira plane because his dead wife told him to!

And Sun’s like, “YOUR DEAD WIFE TOLD YOU TO!? WELL THE ONLY WAY I’M GOING TO GET MY ALIVE HUSBAND OFF THIS ISLAND IS IF THAT PLANE ISN’T DESTROYED!!! AND IF I’M THE UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE JACK TOLD ME I AM, YOU CAN’T DO SHIT WITHOUT ME, SO YOU CAN ALL KISS MY TINY ASIAN ASS.”

And she stomped off! Everyone stood there politely pretending to be offended, but really that just sounded like “;ALKDJFL;KAJLKFJDSKLJAFSKFJKSLD!” to them.

***

Meanwhile Patchy has Sun at the bank, and as it turns out, not only did her father know about this ~*secret*~ account of hers, but he freaking closed it!! PSH!

Sun: Why would he have done that!?
Patchy: Because he is a power tool.

And for the millionth time this episode, someone gives a big monologue to person who CAN’T UNDERSTAND THEM. WHY LOST, WHY!?

Keamy could have been talking about global warming or a good recipe for guacamole for all Jin knew, but we know that he was actually telling him that Mr. Paik DID know about Sun and Jin’s affair, and that money and watch were his payment to whack Jin!

And in a very rare moment of insight, Keamy actually empathized with Jin for a split second!

Keamy: The heart wants what the heart wants.
Jin: BOAT?
Keamy: Some people just aren’t meant to be together.
Jin: GUN?
Keamy: I’m going to tape your mouth shut now.
Jin: …BOAT?

“Hey I’m gonna go make some eggs, you want some? I make good eggs. Scramble ’em? Fry ’em? Boil ’em? Fertilize ’em?”

*muffled* UH – THOSE PANTS DON’T MAKE YOU LOOK FAT?

***

So poor man’s Tina Fey gets scolded by Widmore, who apparently didn’t realize that you don’t hire a scientist to do the work of a mercenary (unless their name is Radzinsky, amiright??)

Widmore: What the hell were you thinking? This war has a very specific timetable! The capture of Jin wasn’t supposed to happen until Thursday, right after the biting of the thumbs, you nincompoop!
Tina Fey: DAMMIT WIDMORE, I’M A GEOPHYSICIST, NOT A SOLDIER!

Anyway, Widmore tells Jin that he found Sun’s camera in the Ajira plane. For the first time ever Jin got to see Ji-Yeon!!! And it was really cute!!! Although why the hell would she have a banner that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY in English if she lived in Korea? lol

Banner or not, it was super sad because Jin probably thought he’d never see either one of them again. So we got some Jiears, which was fine because we never see those.

Widmore: I know what it’s like to be apart from your daughter. It hurts.
Jin: I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s actually your fault we got separated. The freighter? Remember?
Widmore: Ohh right. Woopsie daisy! Let me make it up to you – I’m here to stop the monster.
Jin: What happens if you don’t succeed?
Widmore: To put it lightly, EVERYTHING WILL CEASE TO BE.

Jin: He seemed like such a nice guy.
Widmore: He is not to be trusted. First he screws me, then he screws you. It’s Dutch door action.
Jin: Yikes! Well then, you’d better show me your package.
Audience: *LOL audience title double entendre*

***

POP QUIZ: You’re tied up by a bunch of thugs in a restaurant’s freezer. No one can understand you, nor you them. You hear multiple gun shots fire. What do you do?

a.) Stay quiet and hope to god no one finds you in there.
b.) BANG ON THE DOOR WITH YOUR FEET SO WHOEVER JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE CAN MOST LIKELY COME AND KILL YOU TOO.

Luckily for Jin, that killer was just Sayid!

Sayid: I’m awfully non-chalant considering I just killed a room full of people.
Jin: FREE?
Sayid: I think the writers forgot that Sideways me stills knows how to feel feelings.
Jin: FREE?
Sayid: Bored now.
Jin: FREE!!!?
Sayid: I don’t know/care who you are, so I’ll just give you this little razor and call it a day. Ciao.

And just then Sun and Patchy swing by, and as it turns out they ALSO missed the memo because it was nap time for the bad guys too. (Only these guys had all had a dose of Tylenol PWN.M. administered by Nurse Jarrah!)

Keamy never dies on the first try!! He must really be a VILLAIN!

ABC: 6 MINUTES!!!!! JUST IN CASE ANYONE FORGOT!!!!!

So Jin gets Patchy at gun point, and even though we all know what’s about to happen we kind of hope it doesn’t!

AND JIN AND PATCHY BOTH GO FOR THE GUN! AND PATCHY’S ALL “YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID!”

And since the universe has a way of course-correcting, that was the end of Patchy’s Sideways World eye, and maybe Patchy himself! GROSS!!

But since this Russian S.O.B. is the one who killed our little Charlie, we didn’t feel too bad about it.

But apparently that wasn’t enough action! SUN GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE CROSSFIYAH!!!! AND SHE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!

CROSSFIYAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

***

“Sun, I know your entire life sucks really bad right now. And I want nothing more than to make you feel better. So I racked my brain, and it came to me. I should give you a beautiful bouquet of flowers.”

“But I couldn’t find any so here’s an old tomato. It’s stubborn and bitter. Just like you.”

“Well you know what they say – you say tomato, I can only say 토마토!”

Jack: Yeahhh there’s the smile Uncle Jack was waiting for. Feels good. Real good.
Sun: You’re a weird guy, Jack.
Jack: Oh by the way, I just happened to have a Sharpie lying around this deserted island, and I figured you may not be able to talk, but you can still write!

Sun: Finally! I get to speak!! I’ve been waiting all day to say this! Locke – he said he had…
ABC: V!!!!!!!!! STARTING IN 3 MINUTES!!!!!!!!! *hits you over the head with a V-shaped mallet*
Audience: Now I’m just not going to watch that show out of spite.

ANYWAY Sun told Jack that Mocke has Jin, and Jack was all “Do you trust me?” because he must be a big fan of Aladdin, and Sun’s like “Sure why not!” and Jack told her that he swears that he will help her get Jin if she would just come with them to the plane! And then they held hands for a sec because they both haven’t really gotten any in a while and some human contact was nice.

And Jears Man was super soaked stoked that he had drank all that water earlier!!!

***

Speaking of water, Sayid was proving his earlier statement about his hilarious swimming because he was quietly doing the breast stroke while we all laughed our asses off!

And Tina Fey and Neville Longbottom are getting “The Package” out of the sub to bring to the infirmary, and we see who it is, and it’s DESMOND, BROTHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘SL;DFKA’L;SDF’LA;SDKFLS

And he’s hanging over the dock, and he’s all disoriented, and he’s like “OCH SAYID! WHA ARE YOO, A BLOODY MERMAID?”

And Sayid, floating on the top of the water like a big Iraqi fish, completely expressionless, just goes, “Merman.

LMFAO!!!!!!

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§ 80 Responses to “Lost Recap 6×10: The Package”

  • Simon says:

    TOP FORM, ACK!!!!! SUPER-LAUGHS!!!!

  • trishpip says:

    Hey, that one scene where Sun is running away from Mocke is actually brought to you by the number five, but that’s represented by the letter V in the Roman Alphabet, so it works! :)
    Great recap, thanks!

  • Shannon says:

    “UDDERS!” killed me dead. Completely dead.

    And I love “V Countdown Clock” snark. Big FAIL ABC.

  • Simon says:

    woo! “canceraids” for me!

  • Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by ack_: The Package recap is up! http://bit.ly/dbM8K6 #Lost…

  • Hannah says:

    Hilarious, as usual! Mermaid Sayid literally brings me to tears every single time I see that gif! Oh god.

  • […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sawyer ♡ Kate, Liz/Jenn, Melanie Vine, topsy_top20k, synchromysticTV and others. synchromysticTV said: Lost Recap 6×10: The Package http://ff.im/-iA0eL […]

  • John says:

    Merman. MerMAAAANN.

  • tbirdy says:

    Thanks for the multiple lol moments once again! My husband and I had already decided not to watch “V” when it returned (bored with it in the fall) but I so agree with “Now I’m just not going to watch that show out of spite”. And I loved the Willow reference! :)

  • Derek says:

    Mocke: A wise man once said “Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”
    Widmore: Yes, but the same wise man also said “Nitwit! Oddment! Blubber! Tweak!”
    HAHA!! You never fail to make me laugh, Ack!!!

  • jewel says:

    ACKTASTIC RECAP IS ACKTASTIC !!

    I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO TUNE OUT THE V CLOCK DURING THE EPI ( MAYBE B/C OF HI-DEF) BUT I CAN REALLY SEE HOW ANNOYING IT WAS IN YOUR RECAP PICS !!!!

  • Tarkin says:

    This was hilarious! I loved the entire V-shtick, and the “you’re a weird guy, jack” made me laugh out loud. Brilliant as always :)

  • DB says:

    ROFLMAO!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MOVING SCREENSHOT OF THE SAYID-MERMAN!

    AND FOR:

    Jin starts laughing and snapping his fingers in circles!
    Jin: If she liked it then she shoulda putta ring on it!
    Guy Behind Counter: Sister, PREACH!

    Oh Ack, never change!

    (I’ve been a lurker for a while, but HAD to post my appreciation this time. NICE WORK).

  • Cecil Rose says:

    Woah! A Christmas Story reference! Win!

  • imani08 says:

    “Udders?!” I am ROTFLMAO

    Have you been doing this for a while?! This was the first recap of yours that I’ve read, and I loved it. Thanks, I’ll be back!

  • sarahmc says:

    Iraqi Eyeore!?? LMAO UDDERS?? OMG Ack you have done it again! Simply fantastic! I am sooooooooooo going to miss these recaps when the show is gone! Maybe you can start recapping something else? LOL How about soaps??? Thank you so much for all the time, effort and laughter you put into these!

  • DC says:

    My husband and I both had a “V” hatred moment when Sun wrote “I don’t trust him” only it said “I don’t VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV.” You don’t what??? WHAT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESSOR???? I realize Juliet is on V and all, but I hate that show without watching it.

  • Ack says:

    @Imani08 I have been doing this since Season 3! You have quite a backlog to get through next time you’re bored ;)

    I agree with all of you on V – I tried watching it and was so bored I couldn’t even get through the 4 measly episodes that had aired! That vile countdown clock had better never come back.

  • Bananarama says:

    OH MY GOD. IRAQI FISH! EPIC WIN.

  • Lauren M says:

    HAHAHAHAHA, the constant V references were awesome. Luckily I had to watch the episode online and missed the V clock. Great recap!

  • hlp says:

    Yes! Beyonce reference FTW, with the screencap of Jin pointing at his finger, a subtle Salute Your Shorts shout-out, how you encapsulated like every Miles/Frank exchange ever (Sarcastic comment! / Witty response!), that even the candidates are vincible (who would’ve guessed that’s a real word!), how stuff happened 30 years/1 week ago, and possibly best of all, “I’m not so much a good swimmer as I am a hilarious swimmer.” And awww, Jiears. OH! And Jin’s rudimentary English from earlier seasons, including “Those pants don’t make you look fat”!!

  • hlp says:

    Your recaps are my favorite part of Sunday.

  • jewel says:

    too bad V is not doing well…I saw the original in the 80’s (guess I’m dating myself)…. I had a major crush on the main guy…can’t even think of his name now . haha !

  • Anonymous says:

    Thanks for another great laugh. Geez I was thinking the same thing when Jin hears the shots fired while he’s locked up in the freezer – why would you draw attention to yourself at that point?

    So glad I watched this on CTV (Canada) and missed that whole V countdown. We get to watch it (Lost, not V) 2 hours earlier too!

  • Antoinette says:

    Is that really the Korean word for tomato because I gotta say it looks like “ELOISE” to me?

    Nice work again, Miss Ack. :D

  • christine says:

    EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC WIN.

    OMG THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST RECAPS EVER!

    I literally DIED at the Beyonce reference. And the Vs (which didnt bother me so much because my TV is small and it cut off that part of the picture, which was my real annoyance). And the Star Trek Bones reference, AND OMG THAT PIC OF SAYID SWIMMING AT THE END LOLOLOL. THAT MADE MY DAY.

    I’m wiping away tears of laughter.

  • Laura says:

    Please continue calling Sayid “Iraqi Eyeore”. It brightens up my entire life.

  • Katie says:

    Ack, I just wanted to say THANK YOU for spending so much time and energy on these amazing recaps. Your efforts certainly do not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I love this blog almost more than I love the show, which is saying a LOT!

    Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic! You are truly talented. THANK YOU!

  • Chillertheater says:

    Oh Ack you did it again!

    Udders!!! (That’s also what I call my girl cat’s floppy bits for a little TMI)

    Also loved the “dose of Tylenol PWN.M. administered by Nurse Jarrah”. Brilliant.

  • Hey!T says:

    Sideways World will never be course correct until Patchy 2: Electric Boogaloo occurs.

    PATCHY LIVES!!!

  • lafleur says:

    best ive ever read:) and DIE PATCHY DIEE!!!

  • Kimmerz says:

    like a big Iraqi Fish bahahah

    Widmore: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    Mocke: I do bite my thumb, sir.

    hollah at Romeo and Juliet.

    everyone pretends to be offended but no one understood her

    LOVE IT!

  • Nifer says:

    Udders. LMAO

  • LostTeaParty says:

    *muffled* UH – THOSE PANTS DON’T MAKE YOU LOOK FAT?

    Jears Man, a little-bit-o-Sawyer goes a long way, Richard’s new accessory, nap time!, bald white men face-off, OCH!!!!

    so much to lol over, thanks ACK!

    Looved Merman Sayid – He looked like an Iraqi Grindylow to me!

  • Kal says:

    owwwwwww my God Ack! How you out-do urself every week is totally beyond me. That was just too funny!

    I simply DIED at “Merman” lmao!

  • kid entropia says:

    “You’re looking so… binocular these days! Good for you, buddy!” hahahahahahahahaha! you can´t do this, ack. you can´t do this to us! it should be illegal!! xD

  • aynisha says:

    Legitimate LMAO at “udders”. Can’t comment on rest, looking for my ass.

    (A+, m’dear, as always.)

  • Shion says:

    Awesome all around :D

    Daddy!Smokey mad at Zombie Sayid’s poor attempt at babysitting and encouraging murderous Claire = LOVE

    Jears Man XD XD

  • Lisa says:

    OMG, Zoolander reference!!! You officially RAWK.

    (Tylenol PWN.M. killed me!)

  • Amy Ess says:

    ack, you hit the center ring once again, FULL POINTS. Udders. Udders? UDDERS! O.M.G.

    Sayid, mermaid WHY was that so funny?

    And Chip with a machine gun, kind of like mary tyler moore with a flamer thrower–“Oh Mister Graaant.”

    Thanks ack, you always start my week grandly!

  • Princess says:

    Romeo and Juliet reference–too cool! And I LOVED “Udders” and “If she liked then she shoulda put a ring on it”! I think by now that I look forward to your recaps as much as I do my weekly episode of Lost. Can’t have one without the other!

    The V theme was brilliant! Believe it or not, I watched a few minutes of V last Tuesday in spite of never watching it before. I lasted long enough to hear Elizabeth Mitchell’s character say “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” LMAO and knew I’d never be able to take it seriously after that.

  • Kensington says:

    LOVED the Iraqi Eyeore bit. And the Old Bald Man standoff. is it wrong if the recap is more fun than the episode?

    Call me crazy, but the Christopher Walken impersonator is starting to grow on me.

  • Elynne says:

    In addition to the ‘already mentioned,’ I liked this:

    “Mocke: They were confused. Just like you are now. They didn’t want to come with me, so they had to die. But you should come with me. I will never make you do anything against your will unless you don’t do everything I say!”

    and this:

    “Mocke: Did I tell you to let them all take a nap!? CHRIST. Now I’ll never be able to get them down tonight and everyone’s going to be cranky!!”

    You do great Mocke!

  • Api says:

    And he’s hanging over the dock, and he’s all disoriented, and he’s like “OCH SAYID! WHA ARE YOO, A BLOODY MERMAID?”
    And Sayid, floating on the top of the water like a big Iraqi fish, completely expressionless, just goes, “Merman.”
    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
    LOL

    OH and:
    But since this Russian S.O.B. is the one who killed our little Charlie, we didn’t feel too bad about it.

    You can say that again…

  • liz156 says:

    Miles: Sarcastic comment!
    Lapidus: Witty reponse!

    Sigh, its sad that they have come down to this, isnt it?

  • Debosophy says:

    Freaken hilarious, as always.

    Loved the mirrors!!!

  • lala says:

    “And Sayid, floating on the top of the water like a big Iraqi fish, completely expressionless, just goes, “Merman.”

    Loved it as always ;)

  • Maki says:

    Brilliant as always! I loved all the Harry Potter references, and also:

    “Touché. But enough of these pleasantries – give me Jin or else you shall rue the day you crossed the Man in Black!”

    Jin is so Helen of Troy in that scene, loved it.

  • Jess says:

    Good call on the Happy Birthday sign! Never occurred to me when I saw it, but you’re totally right!

    LOVED the Dumbledore quotes in the Old White Bald Men exchange!

  • Amy says:

    Love your recaps! So many great lines, but his one killed me. I couldn’t stop laughing.
    Mocke: WHERE IS JIN!? WHO ATTACKED YOU??
    Sayid: Looked like…Tina Fey and Neville Longbottom

    Neville Longbottom! Hee hee :)

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