This week on Lost, we meet Jacob and Smokey’s mother(s), we sneak a peek into the heart of the island, and we see how to turn a man into a monster in one easy step.
Around the same time Jesus H. Christ was hitting puberty, Minnie Driver this pretty lady found herself paddling for land, yet another shipwreck victim being sucked towards the island, having no idea what was in store for her.
Once she got to the shore, we realized that this chick was pregnant, and as we all know by now, that did not bode well for her or the pea in her pod. She’s hanging out at this stream when this Woman comes up to her and she’s like, “Hi there, that’s a very nice red dress you have.”
When the pregnant chick seems apprehensive about this besmocked stranger, the Woman goes, “Hi, I’m Allison Janney. You may remember me from such television programs as The West Wing and The Guiding Light, or such motion pictures as American Beauty, Juno, and 10 Things I Hate About You.”
“WTF is television? I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what an aqueduct is, one step at a time, okay?”
So the Woman brings Minnie Driver to her jungle lair, where they had a less than enlightening conversation:
Minnie Driver: Where are the rest of your people?
Woman: There’s only me.
Minnie Driver: How did you get here?
Woman: Don’t worry about it.
Minnie Driver: I need to go find the people from my ship…
Woman: Nope, I don’t think so.
Minnie Driver: But why?
Woman: Because I said so.
Minnie Driver: You’re not the boss of me, why won’t you let me leave??
Woman: I don’t have to answer that.
Minnie Driver: Yes you do, why won’t you answer me!?
Woman: Because every question I answer will simply lead to another question.
“Excuse me, I believe that that’s our line!?”
Anyway, Minnie Driver goes into labor, and from the sounds of it, giving birth in a jungle cave totally sucks ass.
But it’s all worth it when this little bundle of joy comes popping out, and Minnie Driver says she’s naming him Jacob after her favorite tween werewolf heartthrob.
But there’s a problem! Minnie Driver’s baby bump is still awfully bumpy considering the kid had already vacated the premises! And she starts screaming again, and then another baby comes out (honestly I wish he would have come out as a tiny cloud of black smoke) and we’re like ;s’dlfk’a;lsdkfl;asd OMG JACOB AND SMOKEY ARE TWINS!
Audience: SO ARE YOU GOING TO NAME HIM EDWARD AFTER YOUR SECOND FAVORITE TWEEN HEARTTHROB?
Minnie Driver: omg this is so embarrassing but I totally didn’t pick out a second name!
Audience: IT’S OKAY, JUST DO IT NOW…UH…QUICKLY.
Minnie Driver: Well I need to think long and hard about this, a name is very important after all, and I’d hate for him to run around his whole life without one…hmmm…
Audience: YOU’RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!
The woman wraps the babies in ~*symbolic*~ cloths, grabs the nearest coconut, and smashes Minnie Driver’s pretty head into a jelly.
But she apologized before she did it. So I guess in her mind that means it’s okay.
***
It’s 13 years later, and this Zac Efron-looking mofo with the Bieber comb-over is Lil’ Smokey! His mother could have easily named him after any tweenybopper of her choosing, but of course now it’s much too late. Good thing he and his bro are color-coded for our convenience.
So this game has washed up on the shore, and it’s got a board and white rocks and Black Rock black rocks, and Lil’ Smokey has done what any 13-year-old kid would do – make up his own rules and then force his brother to play with him!
He barely has to say a word before we realize Jacob is obviously the Jan Brady in this scenario.
Jacob: I don’t want to play your stupid game! I’m gonna go tell Mom!
Smokey: Watch it, jerk!
Jacob: Shut up, idiot!
Smokey: Moron!
Jacob: Scab eater!
Smokey: Butt sniffer!
Jacob: Pus licker!
Smokey: Fart smeller!
While Gooofus plays games at the beach, Gallant goes back to help his mother and tell her that his brother found a game, which is apparently forbidden.
Woman: I know about the game, Child Whom I Never Named, Apparently.
Smokey: Man, he told you? Jacob really is a butt sniffer.
Woman: Well sweetie, Jacob just doesn’t know how to lie. What a dumbass, right?
Smokey: Totally.
Woman: You’re not like Jacob. You’re…special.
“Special? Like me? Right? Special like me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?” *crickets*
Smokey: What’s out there across the sea, Mother?
Audience: *lol episode title*
Woman: Pay no attention to the world across the sea! The island is all that exists, trust me.
Smokey: Then where did I come from?
Woman: Immaculate conception. That’s really going around these days.
Smokey: What is death, Mother?
Audience: This kid’s lived on an island for 13 years and has never seen a dead animal? WTF?
Woman: Don’t worry about death my boy, I’ve taken care of that. *WINK*
Smokey: What does that even mean?
Audience: YEAH, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?
***
Later, the Lost Boys are frolicking through the jungle after a wild boar (seriously, how did this kid not know what DEATH was? LOL) when all of the sudden they hear something up ahead!
It looks as though a couple of Lord of the Rings extras have wandered onto the set, and they kill the boar with their Elven-made swords or some shit, and the boys freak out and run home.
Apparently while they didn’t know what death was, they immediately knew what men looked like, despite never having seen another soul in their lives.
Boys: There are men on the island!
Woman: They’re not supposed to be here.
Boys: And we are?
Woman: We are here for a reason!
Locke: I believe that’s my line?
Boys: What reason?
Woman: It’s not time for you to know yet!
Eloise: And I believe that’s my line!
Woman: People are dangerous. They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same.
Adult Smokey: And that would be my line.
Woman: Just remember what I’ve always taught you boys.
Boys: God loves a workin’ man, and don’t trust Whitey.
Woman: Very good.
Boys: But we’re people too, will we hurt/destroy/corrupt each other?
Woman: I’ve made it so you can never hurt each other.
Boys: Oh!
Audience: No, not, “Oh!” PLZ TO BE EXPLAINING THIS. THANKS.
So their mother shows the twins this magical glowy cave of wonder that is emanating this bright golden light! And she tells them that this Hot Pocket of energy is why they’re there – to protect it! This light in the cave is inside every man, and since they’re so greedy they always want more of it. So their job is to make sure the men don’t find it because if they steal it, and the light goes out here, the light goes out everywhere.
Audience: So there is a magical “cave” full of warm, glowing “light” that all men “want,” but can’t have because it will sully mankind’s “innocence?”
Lost Writers: Precisely.
Audience: Paging Dr. Freud!
So anyway this Woman tells the boys that one of them will come to protect this giant vagina Magic Cave someday, and the kids are pretty stoked about it.
***
Lil’ Smokey’s like, “Okay so this is how it works. Two players. Two sides. One is light, one is dark.”
*clears throat*
Jacob says he’s not down with Smokey making up the rules as he goes along, and Smokey tells him that it’s okay – one day Jacob will make up his own game and everyone else will have to follow his rules! Jacob just doesn’t realize yet that his game will involve mirrors and crashed planes and Manscara and Flannery O’Connor novels and New Kids on the Block lunchboxes.
Then Ghost Mom shows up and tells Smokey that she wants to show him where he came from, and I don’t think she means Allison Janney’s – uh – magical glowy cave.
Which totally reminded me of when Ben’s mom came to visit him when he was just a Villain-in-Training.
Anyway, Jacob being the not ~*special*~ one of course couldn’t see this chick, and Smokey went to follow the woman without telling Jacob what he was doing because apparently their fake mom never gave them the “never talk to strangers” lesson.
She lead him to Ye Olde Othertowne, where the other people from her shipwreck had been living all these years!
Ghost Mom told Lil’ Smokey all about how he really did come from across the sea, and that these are his people, and that she was his real mom! She even told him about her Death By Coconut!
So Smokey runs back home and wakes up Jacob so they can go start their new lives as Lord of the Rings extras, but Jacob freaks out and beats the shit out of Smokey! The Woman can hear the angst from a mile away and when she finds the boys, Smokey is spilling the beans!
“Mother is a liar and a murderer and creepy and sadistic and overbearing and so overprotective that she cast a magical spell over us that we can’t hurt each other? I mean seriously? She is a crazy bitch, Jacob!”
“You kiss your mother with that mouth!?”
Smokey: I WOULD IF YOU HADN’T KILLED HER, YOU HOMICIDAL MANIAC! I’M GOING TO LIVE WITH THE OTHERS, BITCH.
Woman: Looks like somebody woke up today with a case of the Mommy Issues!
Right before he went storming off toward Ye Olde Othertowne, the Woman told Smokey he’d never be able to leave the island!
Smokey: DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CANT DO! *stomps away*
Audience: Well why not?
Lost Writers: Don’t worry about it.
Audience: Can’t you just explain it a little?
Lost Writers: Every question we answer will simply lead to…
Audience: Yeah, yeah, that’s what we thought you’d say.
So later on, Jacob and the Woman have a heart to heart on the beach in which the Woman explains that she had to kill Minnie Driver in order to keep Jacob and Smokey good. Because nothing says “good” like murdering a woman and stealing her newborn babies!
Jacob: Why do you love Smokey more than me? It’s always Marcia this and Marcia that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
Woman: Uhhh…I love you in different ways. I love Smokey because he’s a special and unique snowflake that’s meant to save mankind. I love you because I have you totally whipped.
Jacob: No wonder I turned out to be such a dickhead.
***
30 years later…
***
Jacob: Do you like my beautiful tapestry, Mother? It’s a portrait of you.
Woman: …it’s…beautiful…
Jacob: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It’s probably the best tapestry I’ve ever made.
Woman: It’s really…neat.
So apparently Jacob’s been going to visit his brother secretly all this time! Who’d a thunk it!?
“Heyyy brother!”
Jacob: How do you always win? This game blows ass.
Smokey: Yo bro – hate the player, don’t hate the game.
Jacob: How about I hate both? J slash K, brother. You know I heart you.
Jacob: Was Mommy Dearest right about these plebes after all? They don’t seem so bad.
Smokey: That’s easy to say from up on that high horse of yours. As a whole mankind is…
“…greedy…”
“…manipulative…”
“…untrustworthy…”
“…and selfish.”
Smokey explains that people may suck, but they’re a means to an end – they’re going to help him get off this island! And with that he takes the special dagger we’ve seen so much this season and throws it at this well, and it sticks to the side, and Smokey’s all, “FUCKIN’ MAGNETS, HOW DO THEY WORK?”
Smokey: We figured out a way to get off this island. Come with us!
Jacob: But Mother says we can’t leave.
Smokey: Well I’m leaving, I don’t care what that crazy old hag says.
Jacob: Welllll…will you look at the time?
Smokey: You’d better not go and tell her what I’m doing!
Jacob: Of course I won’t, what kind of brother do you think I am?
Jacob: …so I think he’s leaving soon. Also, he called you a hag.
Woman: Good boy.
***
So the Woman pays a visit to Smokey, who is working down in his magical magnetic well!
Woman: So you’ve found the light? And the other people have seen it too?
Smokey: Yes.
Woman: You have no idea how dangerous…you have no idea what that light IS!
Smokey: WE HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T TELL US WHAT IT IS.
Audience: HEY WAIT, THAT IS OUR LINE!
Smokey explains that they are going to harness the power of the light with a system that uses water and that big ass donkey wheel, and when it’s all done they’re gonna turn the wheel and he’ll get off the island!
So like, PAPER hasn’t been invented yet, but these people can make a freaking island-moving time machine. Right, right.
Smokey drops his “I’m special” line again, he tells her he’s leaving and that this is goodbye. So she gives him a tearful hug and then crushes his head into a jelly on the well wall. Crush crush crush.
But she apologized before she did it. So I guess in her mind that means it’s okay.
***
The Woman wakes Jacob up in the middle of the night to tell him that the time has come – it’s his turn to protect the light! Whatever the frak that means!
Jacob: What’s down there?
Woman: It’s the source of life, the universe, and everything.
Jacob: …wut?
Woman: It’s the heart of the island. The source of life and death and rebirth.
Jacob: Okay, so…can I touch it?
Woman: No. To touch it would be to suffer a fate worse than death. It’s the worst thing ever, basically. Never, ever, EVER go in there. Blech. *shudders*
Jacob: How do you know so much about it? Did you touch it?
Woman: …
Jacob: Mother?
Woman: Now STFU and take this wine!
Woman: Do you, Jacob, take the island to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Jacob: Aw gee, Mother, if I gotta.
Woman: Well you do gotta. And then one day you will find your own replacement. I highly recommend stealing babies, it seemed to work out pretty well.
Woman: If anyone feels this couple should not be united in Holy Matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Jacob: Wait a second, you always wanted it to be him, but now I’m all you’ve got so I’m the one who has to do this?
Woman: Nooo…uh…it was always supposed to be you, baby!
Jacob: O RLY?
Woman: YA RLY. And anyway, you don’t have a choice.
Jacob: Wait a minute, wha?
Woman: Bottom’s up!
And Jacob drank the magical wine, and the Woman said they were the same now, whatever the hell that means.
***
Meanwhile, Smokey awakens from his little nap to find that his crazy bitch of a mother has filled in his well!
Audience: Seriously? How could an old woman fill in a giant well all by herself like that?
Lost Writers: idk maybe she’s Smokey Part I?
Audience: @_@
The possibility that the Woman is also a Smoke Monster makes even more sense once we see what she managed to do to the village! I mean…HOLY SHIT! She has made a Mess O’ Potamia! There are barbecued Others all over the damn place!
“Mother, I guess you could say you really…”
“…CHARMED THEM.”
“…go to your room.”
***
If she thought her day was already tough, she had another thing coming. Smokey saw all the death and destruction the Woman doled out and lost it.
Well, in Otherville they say that Smokey’s black heart got three times more evil that day!
He took his magic dagger, and without letting the Woman utter a word (sound familiar??) he stabbed her right in the gut!!!
And he’s all, “Why didn’t you let me leave?” and she’s all, “Because I love you!” and we’re like “That is a lame excuse!”
But then she THANKS him for killing her, and we start to realize that OMG she had to have known this was going to happen! That’s why she made Jacob marry the island! Because her time was over! ‘Cause nothin lasts forever.
Even cold November rain.
*sweet ass guitar solo*
And then we finally got to see the thing that many of us have been waiting to see for like 5 years. ;lfkas;’dlkfa’l;dsfk;lds
Smokey: Brother! You should have seen what she did!
Jacob: I AM A HOT LITTLE POTATO RIGHT NOW, YOU’D BETTER SHUT YOUR YAP, MISTER.
Smokey: You can’t kill me! She made it so you can’t kill me!
Jacob: I’LL DO YOU ONE BETTER.
So he literally sends his brother up the river, and he lets his body float right down the magical waterfall!!!!!! And we’re like OMGWTF Z;SK’A;SDKFA’;SDL
Jacob, immediately regretting his little mantrum, stands there for a moment before we hear it – TCH-TCH-TCH-TCH TCH-TCH-TCH-TCH a’;sdlfka;l’sdfksd
AND SMOKEY COMES FLYING OUT OF THE CAVE, ALL “I’M A MOOOOONSTEEEERRRR!!!!!!!!” AGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
So I guess Jacob felt kind of bad that he just caused his brother’s soul to be ripped out of his body OR WHATEVER THE HELL JUST HAPPENED because he sits there and weeps over his sibling’s corpse.
And Shannon and Boone are like, “Yes, it all feels very familiar, we know.”
***
So Jacobs carries Smokey’s body to the caves, where he lays him down next to his mother’s body, and he makes the two bodies hold hands because that’s not super creepy/Oedipal or anything.
Lost Writers: Check this out, we just wanted to remind you guys that…
Audience: Adam and Eve? Trust us, we didn’t forget!
Lost Writers: No, we just wanted to remind you guys that there was a time Matthew Fox didn’t wax his chest. LOL.
But Locke (the REAL Locke, none of this Flocke-ness Monster/Sideways Locke bull) reminded us about Adam and Eve anyway…
…and it was hard for us hardcore Lost nerds not to get goosebumps, amiright??
So Jacob said a eugoogly for his family, and walked back home, hoping there was still some magic wine left somewhere for him.
“Island, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
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“God loves a workin’ man, and don’t trust Whitey.”
I actually said this yesterday in a totally different context. No one got it. Boy was I embarrassed.
Your recap was better than the episode.
But, wait a minute. Jacob spoke to Ben before he stabbed him. So…is *that* why there’s a child-ghost-Jacob running around?
Yeah, yeah. Any questions I answer, blah blah blah.
Anyway. Enough complaining bout the episode – loved the recap. CSI Miami puns (along with the sunglasses and “YEAAAH!”) are ALWAYS hilarious.
“Or WHATEVER THE HELL JUST HAPPENED”
Yep, that’s pretty much the episode recap! Thanks – I’m finding this week that all my favorite recaps are better than the episode. Thanks for making me laugh!
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Bailey, Runa and LG, Rachel Ack. Rachel Ack said: Across the Sea #Lost recap posted! http://bit.ly/aH6VJx […]
OMG, the drawing of Trishia on the weave making machine thingy had me dying of laughter, along with the CSI Miami moment.
Great recap as always! I can’t believe there’s only going to be two left ;__;
Lauren if it makes you feel any better there will probably be 3 since there’s no way in hell I’m fitting 2.5 hours of TV into 1 recap. I’ll split the finale like I did last year!
Oh Rachel, this pains me, but Jacob is a werewolf, not a vampire. Unless you weren’t making a Twilight reference.
@Maureen LOL this is a mistake I didn’t mind making! I just fixed it! I did know that but totally blanked.
While my students would be proud, especially the 6th graders, that I know that, I feel like a part of my dignity has died.
I really liked the episode… the more I thought about it and all the discussion it sparked. I think a lot of questions were answered and we learned a lot. I do agree that the actual ” quality” of the show was poor… the acting, special effects and pacing were all off.
Ack as usual great recap!!
not sure if you saw in last weeks comments but I wanted to post again that I was in New Orleans last weekend and I went into a bar and saw “Jin” I got to take a picture with him !!sdfkljhdsgldfg!!!211!!
<3 eugoogly! <3
OMG. Napoleon Dynamite portrait in the tapestry FTW.
@Jewel YES I DID SEE THAT COMMENT, I am so jealous!!!!! I would have died, I would be too much of a baby to get a picture with him haha!
hahah fart smeller, etc….this reminded me of conversations with my 2 older brother’s, good times.
Brady Bunch….. <3
loved the examples: Shannon & Boone, Cooper, Nikki & Paolo, etc. WIN
what the heck am I going to do for fun, I keep playing M. Giacchino's Lost soundtracks and reading blogs until my eyes bleed, Ack, I am starting to freak the f out!!!!!
Loved the CSI reference. Is this the first time you have done one? because I can’t recall seeing it in your recaps before. Anyway, good recap, in retrospect, the episode doesn’t seem as mediocre after thinking more about it, but it still pales in comparison to many others this season.
Mess O’ Potamia! hahahahahaha.
omg. you know, with your recap, and bigmouth’s and wayne’s and marc oromer’s own recaps, i must admit i’m liking this episode more and more as days go by, and it works perfectly well when you watch it immediately followed by the first scene of the incident and then ab aeterno.
ha! excellent. the scene between lil’ smokey and his mom was hilarious!
Goofus and Gallant?
Holy crap, Ack, you can’t be as old as I am!!! How do you know about ma homies G and G?
Goofus and Gallant! Holla! Oh, and even though I hate Napoleon Dynamite, I loved the reference! lol.
Eugoogly!!! Dammit, now I have to go watch Zoolander yet AGAIN. Great recap on a disappointing episode! I’ll miss you more than Jack’s chest hair.
i loved the line stealing, THAT’S MY LINE!!!!
oedipus, seriously, adam and eve they were NOT, that scene freaked me out, all of a sudden jack and kate were like nekkid and locke was 234098 years younger.
i loved you putting all the old characters in here :) lol nikki and paulo, ftLOSE
OMG how could I have missed that birth mom was wearing red? I feel like a total dork.
The Napoleon Dynamite reference was my fave.
Everyone did keep stealing everyone else’s lines, didn’t they?!
I feel like this was kind of a mediocre episode, but your recap is fantastic, like always!
Well, I’m slightly happier that the recap will be split into two parts but it’s still kinda sad just knowing it’s ending. Totally random change but have you watched any of my recaps? I put them on youtube, they’re nowhere as good as yours but I like doing them. I’ve still got to do Across the Sea but I need to watch the episode again so I can figure out what the hell’s going on.
@Jewel, OMG, I’m soooooooooooooooooooo jealous. I’ve been to New Orleans twice and I saw a limo outside of somewhere but we were getting ready to leave and couldn’t see who it belonged to. On a side note, isn’t New Orleans awesome? I would kill to go back.
Ack, I have followed these recaps religously in the UK since season 4 and you never fail to deliver. Except for that time when you missed out Ji Yeon and Cabin Fever…and when the daily doses of Lost weren’t very daily. Anyway, I am a humongous fan and I always read the comments, but have never posted the slightest message on the site.
THESE – ARE – THE – BEST. I look forward to them as much as a new episode. Truly terrific.
There’s a guy called Rod Hilton who does similar, but trimmed, recaps (or Abridged Scripts) for films on his site The Editing Room. Defo check him out if you haven’t been there before, he’s a contender for you.
Another random comment from me. God, I miss season 1 Matthew Fox, he was sooooooooooooooo delicious looking in that screencap. He’s still a good looking guy but he needs to cut that hair like pronto.
“Even cold November rain”
lololol
I love the CSI bits. They come at you out of nowhere, totally random and totally hilarious… YEEAAAAH!!!
I agree with your assessment of the cave being a giant vagina. So that would make the light libido, lust, sexual desire? Something like that?
Many other good bits, with Jacob being mommy’s good little boy and he exchange between the 13-year olds.. Fart smeller…
Cheers dude, only 3 of those recaps left :((((
So, my cousin’s a set designer in LA and is telling me about how she needed an MRI machine for a commercial, and I said, “Hey, you should have gone to Oahu, because they used an MRI in a great episode of LOST!” and she says, “Did I tell you this story already?” Turns out, she’s trying to hunt down an MRI prop for two weeks, goes to the prop house that has it, and it’s sitting on the loading dock packaged with a big “Ship to LOST” address sheet on it. Took her another two weeks to find a suitable sub. She was pissed. I let her know she could take comfort in knowing how pivotal a role it played in the mythology – she didn’t care, Darlton had inconvenienced her; much like they had with us during this Alison Janney boondoggle 12 days out from end date. What the what, people…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifyNZYaB4aU&feature=related
Mess O’ Potamia
I spat coffee this morning over that one!
Awesome recap and ITA that the recap was better than the show. Thanks!
I love your recaps so much!! I will miss them!! Greetings from spain!
what happened to my disappearing comment??
acob: Do you like my beautiful tapestry, Mother? It’s a portrait of you.
Woman: …it’s…beautiful…
Jacob: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It’s probably the best tapestry I’ve ever made.
Woman: It’s really…neat.
BRB PEEING SELF LAUGHING
Jacob: What’s down there?
Woman: It’s the source of life, the universe, and everything.
LOL, that’s the exact same thing I said. ;) Love me some Douglas Adams.
Great recap! I’m gonna miss ya Ack.
@McLeron Haha oh my god you might be the only person who remembers exactly which episodes I didn’t recap! And those Daily Doses – yeah they weren’t always daily, but I tried haha.
I haven’t heard of this Rod Hilton guy, I will definitely need to check him out!
@Flaknitter01 NO WAY that is so weird!!! I want to get an MRI in the machine Desmond flashed in haha.
@Jody I have no idea what happened to your comment, usually when they disappear they get sent to spam, but yours didn’t! Hm.
I was distraught because I can’t find the Wayne’s World reference!!
Jody, the Wayne’s World reference in this one is “You kiss your mother with that mouth!?”
LOL
Loved the recap better than the episode! The ep was OK, but slow and a little dull–you’ve definitely livened it up for me! (and “The Jerk”, yay!!!!!!!)
I can’t believe that a week from now, it’ll all be over. :”(
I’m so looking forward to your epic recaps!
Immaculate Conception – that’s really going around right now. Brilliant!
I switched off half way through this episode I was so bored by it! It was way too random for my tastes, and just badly done. Your recap is so much better than the original. How come the lads got older (almost as old as The Woman) but she didn’t?? Is it because the boys haven’t taken Matthew Fox’s skincare advice on board? There must be some Dharma mansturiser lying around somewhere.
PS – totally loved the Allison Janney/Troy McClure reference, and the CSI bit – and Ben’s mom is Darlene from True Blood! Who’s his real life wife!! Talk about you twisted Oedipal casting…
Michael is the only one who is untrustworthy? Michael? Oh God!
Hee hee hee….lil’ smokey….I can’t stop giggling about that :D
I am totally on the Mess ‘O Patamia laugh fest bus. Oh Ack the hell with what will we do w/out Lost, what are we going to do w/out you? I’m not going to think about it.
*sticks fingers in ears and sings “Brandy” to self.
How did I miss that one??
Clearly my computer knew it was too stupid to post and was trying to save me from embarassment. :)
@ ack and lauren M
yeah ! I had a great time in new orleans. we left on wed. so was bummed that I wouldn’t have much time to catch up on all the forums… then we just happened to go into this bar and ” Jin” was sitting there! all by himself.. I was really nervous to go up to him…my husband asked if he could take our picture… I don’t even remember much after that… I don’t even think I said thank you! couldn’t wait to come back and tell everyone!!!
It is a really fun place to go! we heard a lot of great music.. don’t know if anyone watches Treme but we got to go to lot of the bars and see some musicians featured in the show too!!
omg sandlot reference awesome
“Hi, I’m Allison Janney. You may remember me from such television programs as The West Wing and The Guiding Light, or such motion pictures as American Beauty, Juno, and 10 Things I Hate About You.â€
“…and lately on Broadway in ‘9 to 5’ or should I say ‘8 to 4’…..”
Great recap as always, Ack. LOVED the tapestry!!
Jacob is Jan Brady! :D Once again, it feels really good to laugh at a difficult episode, though for totally different reasons this week as opposed to last week. Thanks, Ack!
Well, in Otherville they say that Smokey’s black heart got three times more evil that day!
OMG – I *love* it! The Grinch is one of my all time favs. ha! Way too funny!