Last week we counted down the Top 10 Deaths. This week, we count down the villains that were responsible for many of those deaths!
10. Danny Pickett, the Fenrir Greyback of Lost
Villainous acts: Violence. Lots of it.
Danny Pickett was a crazy mofo. Pickett was on that Island for one reason – beating the crap out of people. Namely, Sawyer. Pickett was like a walking ball of testosterone, always ready to snarl and growl and beat someone within an inch of their life. Luckily for those of us who dig the whole Sawyer/Kate thing, Pickett’s actions gave us 2 of the best Skate moments the show’s ever had.
9. Eloise Hawking, the Mommie Dearest of Lost
Villainous acts: Murder, deception, being the world’s worst mother
Sure, she tried to help Jack and Gang get back to The Island, but any woman who mistakenly murders her own time-traveling son in the past and then raises him in the coldest possible way knowing that his life would be cut short by her own gun deserves to be on this list. If you know you’re going to kill your kid, wouldn’t you spoil him rotten until his time was up? And let’s not forget how creepy Eloise was the first time we saw her in Desmond’s flashback.
8. Mikhail “Patchy” Bakunin, the Slimer of Lost
Villainous acts: Violence, murder
Wreaking havoc everywhere he went, Patchy’s presence on this show was a steady stream of explosions, fistfights, foaming at the mouth, and general mayhem. Did he follow Ben’s orders because he felt he should, or was it more that he thought it was kind of hilarious to ruin the Losties’ lives? I suppose we won’t know until he comes back from the dead. (Again.)
7. Christian Shepphard, the Norman Osborn (a.k.a. Green Goblin) of Lost
Villainous acts: Botching surgery while under the influence, child abandonment and/or bad parenting, deception, giving terrible advice to various characters
Without Christian Shepphard, Jack would have no Daddy Issues, Sawyer would have never wrongly shot the guy he thought was the “real” Sawyer, Claire would have never wandered away from her baby that night by the fire, and we would have never gotten that super eerie shot of Zombie!Christian’s back to us under that tree. He was (is?) a weak, drunk, terrible father, but we all know Lost wouldn’t be quite the same without him. After all, who would be Jacob’s creepy messenger?
6. Martin Keamy, the Terminator of Lost
Villainous acts: Murder, violence, general dickery
Unlike most characters on Lost, Keamy only had one side, and it was all bad. Whether he was randomly shooting machine guns into the ocean, murdering and tossing people overboard, blowing up Otherville, roughing up various Losties, or killing Alex, Keamy was like a walking tower of destruction everywhere he went. And like all good bad guys, Keamy had to be killed twice.
5. Ethan Rom, the Travis Bickle of Lost
Villainous acts: Violence, murder, deception, kidnapping, general creepiness
Remember the scene when we first understood that Ethan was one of The Others? He’s standing there staring at Claire and Charlie like a total psychopath, a blank look in his eyes and a half-smile on his face. That scene still gives me goosebumps! He may have only been one of Ben’s foot soldiers, but Ethan lied (“I’m from Canada”), drugged (Juliet and Claire), kidnapped (Claire and Alex), hung (Charlie), knocked people unconscious (Jack and Jin), shot (Locke), and killed (Juliet’s ex, Steve/Scott, etc.) his way onto this list. His father may have been King of the Hippies, but Ethan was anything but peaceful.
4. Charles Widmore, the Michael Corleone of Lost
Villainous acts: Murder, adultery, child abandonment, betrayal, deception
Despite the fact that I’m still convinced that Widmore is secretly a good guy, he makes an awesome villain. I mean, what hasn’t he done? He’s roughed up and killed people, both himself and through his lackies. He abandoned Daniel and Eloise on The Island to have another family (and then treated that family like crap anyway). He’s super rich, a great villain characteristic to have. And let’s not forget how cruel he was to Desmond throughout the years. Plus, his bad guy mojo was upped exponentially when we discovered he was entrenched in a lifelong battle for The Island with his equally nefarious rival, Ben.
3. Smoke Monster, the Great Eye of Lost
Villainous acts: Murder, violence, deception, being really scary
Just like the Great Eye from Lord of the Rings, you get the feeling Smokey’s always watching you, judging you, waiting to strike. Sure, it may not exactly think for itself (or does it?), but that wisp of smoke is strong enough to toss grown men around like rag dolls. Throw in the cool ancient Egyptian stuff, the way it can show you particularly traumatic flashes and your life, that weirdo tch-tch-tch-tch AHHHOOOOOHHHH sound it makes before it strikes, and you’ve got yourself a creature/entity/
dinosaur/whatever that you’d never want to cross paths with.
2. Anthony Cooper, the Lex Luthor of Lost
Villainous acts: Conning, murdering, deception, betrayal, maiming, kidney stealing
I’m willing to bet that at some point in his life this asshole broke all 10 commandments within 24 hours. When he wasn’t lying, cheating, conning, stealing, throwing his progeny out of buildings or murdering people, he was out quail hunting with a jaunty beret perched on his head. Cooper made a great villain because he seemed to find all of this grief he caused rather amusing, as if he loved to see just how much he could get away with. Luckily in the end he got what was coming to him.
1. Benjamin Linus, the Hannibal Lecter of Lost
Villainous acts: Mass murder, regular murder, deception, betrayal, kidnapping and imprisonment, violence, baby stealing, mind games
Lost’s number one bad guy is just as complicated as twisty as the show itself. Many of you are going to say that Ben’s not really a villain, but I beg to differ. His intentions may be good on occasion, but Benjamin “We’re the good guys” Linus is eeveeel like the fru-its of the deveeeel! He’s murdered people – lots and LOTS of people both directly and indirectly (RIP Locke, Danielle, Karl, his father, Goodwin, the entire Dharma Initiative, every guy he had Sayid kill post-Island, etc. etc.). He’s lied so often that now we just assume what he says is untrue. He kidnapped Alex, Sawyer, Kate, Jack and god knows how many others (no pun intended). He is the master of mind games, capable of turning people on each other within minutes. He manipulates people not always because he has to, but because it’s fun for him.
Ben gets the number one spot on my list because not only is he evil and conniving, but the man’s got style. He doesn’t just beat people up, he does it with an expandable baton while donning a neckerchief or fabulous fedora. Plus, he loves being a bad guy. He’s full of witty one liners (“Destiny, John, is a fickle bitch”), he can summon Smokey, and I am convinced the man never blinks. Lost just wouldn’t have been the same without Ben, and I for one am glad that he is so deliciously evil…even if, in the end, he turns out to be the “good guy” he claims to be.
Honorable mentions: Tom/Zeke/Mr. Friendly, Abaddon, Jacob (I couldn’t decide if Jacob was evil or actually good…I suppose we shall see)
So that’s my list, who would make yours?