The Ack Attack!

“I’m gonna bounce back and when I do I’m gonna buy you a diamond so big it’s gonna make you puke.”

“I don’t wanna puke.”

– Navin Johnson and Marie, The Jerk

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying, I’m just allergic to fine home furnishing.”

– Vanessa and Juno, Juno

“So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?”

– Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m birthday suiting up!”

– Robin and Barney, How I Met Your Mother

“Stay away from women. That’s my motto.”

“Neither can I. That’s my trouble.”

– Rowlf and Kermit, The Muppet Movie

“You DO think I’m beautiful, don’t you, Charlie Brown? ”

“Good grief.”

– Lucy and Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Christmas

“All right now, son, I want you to get a good night’s rest. And remember, I could murder you while you sleep. It’s easy, son, all you have to do is be quiet and willing to do it. And son, I am willing to do it. And, I’ve got quiet shoes. Good night, son. Sleep well.”

– “Daddy” (Dave Foley), The Kids in the Hall

“Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only.”

“No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I’m ordering a pizza!?”

– Supervisor and John McClane, Die Hard

“FASCIST!”

“Hag!!!”

– Joyce Cooper and Nicholas Angel, Hot Fuzz

“I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.”

– Elaine, Seinfeld