<\/p>\n
<\/center>
\nSo Sawyer was all like, “Hey Jabba, you want some Dharma Funions?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Hurley was all, “DUDE…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“…you know<\/I> I want three! RANCH DIPPIN’ TIME!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Michael was all like, “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Jack was all like, “Don’t be thinking about slipping off that mortal coil yet, Mikey. We live together and…slip off the mortal coil together….by the way, your fly’s undone.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Anway, Sun was all like, “BLARRGGGHH!!!!!! I am with child!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Sayid was all, “I spent many a night puking over balconies at Dave Matthews Band concerts back in Iraq. Or as we used to like to call it, I-ROCKS.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So Sun was all, “Where the hell did we get these binoculars? They seem to be coming in very handy today.”<\/p>\n
![](\"http:\/\/static.flickr.com\/55\/156698802_b51bc98484.jpg\"\/)
<\/p>\n
And then we were all like, “OMGWTF is that Jebediah Springfield’s foot!!!???”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Back in the Hatch of Doom, Desmond was all like, “I learned that in the circus, brothah. The human body is quite amazing is it not? Especially certain…uh…appendages….”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Locke was like, “THAT WAS A NEAT TRICK!!!!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So Flashback Desmond was all like, “ARGGHHHH!!!! MAH BOOOAT! MAAAH BOOOAT!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Clancy Brown was all like, “What did one snowman say to the other snowman? And also, if I was in Iraq with Sayid, how the eff did I end up here!!??”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Desmond was all like, “OHHHH MAAAAH GAWWWD!” And it was then that he realized…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“You gave me roofies, didn’t you, you FOOKIN’ ARSE BANDIT!! OOOOooohhhh…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Meanwhile on the beach, Mistah Eko was having a conniption. “CHAH-LEE! CHAH-LEE! YOU’VE GOT TO FIND THE GOLDEN TICKET!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“GOD DAMN YOU CHARLIE! YOU HAVE TO SAVE GRANDPA JOE!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Grandpa Joe was all like, “FOR REALZ, YO! GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR ASS!”<\/p>\n
![](\"http:\/\/www.classictvhits.com\/cast\/351.jpg\"\/)
<\/p>\n
So then Sawyer and Kate are all like “No, YOU’RE<\/i> prettier…WTF UDDERS!!!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Sawyer’s all like, “THIS IS FOR ANA-LUCIA, YOU BASTARDS!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then he’s like…”Wait a goddamn minute! What am I saying? Sawyer, you trippin.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then Michael is all like, “Someone’s having a case of the MONDAYS<\/i>!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Jack is all like, “GRRRRRRrrrraaaawwwwrrrrRRRRR!!!!!!” *bites his nose off*<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Kate is just like, “O…M….G…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Sawyer is all thinking, “Did Ana-Lucia give me HERPES!?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But Michael’s all like, “I actually….I dunno…” *pushes dirt around with his toe* “…I kinda liked Ana-Lucia.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Hurley’s all, “Dude….DUDE….are you freaking kidding me?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Kate has a flashback to that night Ana-Lucia tried to make out with her by the caves…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then out of nowhere Sawyer feels his crotch start to tingle and itch…”That bitch DID give me herpes!!!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So Jack wheels around and he’s all like, “WTF DOES THAT MEAN YOU GAVE ME<\/I> HERPES? That’s the last time I let you nuzzle my mangoes, you son of a bitch!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Back on the boat, Sayid decides it is high time he bows down and thanks the lord for his sovreign pwn-acity…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Charlie is all like, “Yoooo hooooo. Pretty Pirate Man<\/i>! I have somethin’ to show yoooou! Do it for Grandpa Joooeeee!” <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Clancy Brown is all, “…so, yeah. I learned that trick in the circus. It’s really quite amazing what the body is capable of.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“See that? That’s what happens if you wiggle too<\/i> hard. Radzinski learned that the hard way.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Desmond was like, “Whoooaaa. I’m definitely gonna hafta learn that one, brothah.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And outside the hatch door, Mistah Eko is all like, “CHAH-LEE, it is time.” *rips off all of Charlie’s clothes*<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Locke is all like, “CHARLIE!!! HE LIKES HIS EARS NIBBLED!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And Charlie was just like, “Funny, Sayid is the same way…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
*wets lips* “Alright, Eko…Here I come!”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,24,6],"tags":[311,25,28,9],"class_list":["post-64","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lost","category-recap-tv","category-tv","tag-lost","tag-lost-recap","tag-lost-season-2","tag-recap"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=64"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=64"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=64"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=64"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}