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The Top 50 OMGWTF Lost Moments

September 21st, 2008 § 94

My own personal list of the most OH MY GOD, WHAT THE EFF moments on Lost, to help us get through this ridiculously long hiatus.


50. Future Jack and Future Kate engaged: Skaters everywhere cry into their fish biscuit-shaped pillows.

49. Carl learns that God loves you as He loved Jacob: We learn that the Lost Writers love A Clockwork Orange as Alex loved his droogs.

48. Christian is Michael’s Grim Reaper: The island sent him to tell Michael, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

47. Jack scores a touchdown for the Otherville Polar Bears football team; Tom eagerly anticipates the moment Coach Pickett barks “Hit the showers!” and he can finally use his “You can be my Tight End” joke.

46. Chuck Widmore declares, “That island’s mine, Benjamin.” Benjamin retorts, “Nuh-uhhh!” We all say, “…WHAAAA!?”

45. Daniel’s rocket proves there is a curious time delay between the island and the outside world; ordering a pizza must be a nightmare.

44. The Tailies Live! And they’re being kidnapped! Via grocery list!

43. Keamy kills Alex in cold blood: Ben’s heart grows 3 sizes that day.

42. There are two islands: Sawyer never thought he’d long for the safety and comfort of Craphole Island.

41. Claire spends some Quality Time with Daddy Shephard in Jacob’s cabin and astral projects herself into Kate’s dreams; kind of like Freddie Kruger, only tiny and blond.

40. Locke’s father is the Real Sawyer: “I’ve gone by Anthony Cooper, Adam Seward, Tom Sawyer…but if you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.”

39. The smoke monster grabs Locke: Locke looks into the eye of the island and what he sees is beautiful; the eye of the island looks into Locke and concludes he’s just not that into him.

38. What did Man of Science, Man of Faith teach us, other than Jack looks awesome with bangs? That dude Jack met on the bleachers is that dude in the Hatch. Brothah.

37. Sayid proves Ben isn’t Henry Gale: Ben proves he’s got the worst fake ID since McLovin.

36. Future Sayid is working for Future Ben: The benefits package is total shit, but the paid tuition for night classes at the Jack Bauer Institute for Pwnage is pretty sweet.

35. Penny answers phone call from mysterious Portugese guys: She was actually surprised when it wasn’t just Ben breathing heavily into the phone.

34. Desmond can see tha few-chah and/or time travel: Crystal ball and/or Tardis not required.

33. Psychic tells Claire she must be the one to raise her baby: Brangelina are disappointed they won’t be getting that Australian kid they were promised.

32. Charlie’s trippy visions: Now we know the “H” in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hugo.

31. Kate finds The Others’ “Village People” costumes: Apart from Tom’s hat and beard, she found a construction helmet and moustache, cowboy hat and moustache, sailor hat and moustache, cop’s helmet and moustache, and an Indian headdress which, while missing a moustache, included a well-worn loincloth.

30. Taller Ghost Walt: Helping fatally injured middle-aged men escape from death pits since 2004!

29. A map of the island is hidden on the Hatch’s blast door: Finally, they can find that damn Dharma IHOP they keep hearing about.

28. Libby was in the same mental ward as Hurley: She’s currently working through “Baby Steps” by Dr. Leo Marvin.

27. Ben kidnapped Alex and raised her as his own: Nancy Grace would have a field day.

26. Richard doesn’t age and Patchy can’t be killed: The only plausible explanation at this point? They’re Cylons.

25. Ben’s “Magic Box” yields the World’s Biggest Dick: So many “That’s what she said” jokes, so little time.

24. Locke’s crazy Boone visions: Theresa falls up the stairs, Theresa falls down the stairs, Lost viewers’ mouths fall open, Lost viewers’ brains leak out of their ears.

23. Mr. Eko gets one on one time with Smokey: Of course the security system goes off when the black guy wanders past.

22. Ana-Lucia shoots and kills Shannon: There’s a new bitch in town, kids – and we’d all best get used to it.

21. Charlie tells Desmond it’s not Penny’s boat: Desmond replies, “A schooner is a sailboat, stupid head!”

20. The Others live in a quaint island village: Too bad they can’t order babies along with their collared shirts and khakis from the J. Crew catalog.

19. Walt is kidnapped and the raft is blown to smithereens: God Jacob forbid the Others just say “Please.”

18. Yemi’s plane crash-landed on the island: That’s what you get when you buy one of Expedia’s Super Discount Tickets.

17. If anything goes wrong, Desmond will be Daniel’s Constant: If anything goes right, Desmond will be MY Constant.

16. Michael gets message on Hatch computer: It wasn’t actually Walt, but that guy from To Catch a Predator.

**The Others apparently kidnapped moments 14 and 15**

13. The secret Orientation video: Worst. Porn. Ever.

12. Electromagnetic discharge causes sky to turn purple, our brains to melt.

11. Locke meets his maker and says, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” God says, “…oh YEAH!?”

10. Hurley’s numbers are on the Hatch: Jacob knew he shouldn’t have left his PIN number laying around like that.

9. The 4-toed statue: Apparently Jebediah Springfield was the captain of the Black Rock.

8. Jacob speaks to Locke: He just flew in from Xenu’s summer bungalow, and boy are his arms tired!

7. Locke was in a wheelchair!!! And he got thrown out a frickin’ window by his dad!!!!: He obviously wins the Daddy Issues Contest the island is running.

6. The Hatch lights up:
I’ve done everything you wanted me to do! So why did you do this to me!?

*light goes on*

*DIEZ AND IZ DED* Look, now we know that was just Desmond turning on the light in the hatch, but at the time, I nearly had an aneurysm.

5. Michael goes on killing spree, murdering Ana-Lucia and Libby, shoots himself, and frees Benry Gale: The Lost writers’ old one-two. Four totally shocking events in a 30-second span that bombarded your brain until it was goo.

4. Ben moves the island: He would have asked his friends to help him move, but…he doesn’t have any.

3. Sawyer kills the polar bear: Say it with me kids, O M G W T F POLAR BEAR.

…What, you didn’t hear about the polar bear?

2. Jack’s flash forward: Fake beard: $50. Denim Jacket: $45. Our reaction when we figured out that bearded mess was FUTURE Jack? PRICELESS.

1. French transmission:
Please help us. They are all dead. They are dead. It killed them. It killed them all.

We may know who “they” are, and we may know what “it” was that killed “them,” but that transmission still gives us goosebumps when we hear it, amiright??

So obviously there was no way to list every single WTF Lost moment, but I’d love to know: What would have made your list?

You can find all my Lost Recaps HERE.

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§ 94 Responses to “The Top 50 OMGWTF Lost Moments”

  • Pandora Nervosa says:

    OMG, yay! This was fab!

    Damn, I miss Lost.

    Hmm, my WTF moment? When the boys swam out to the sailboat and it was Desmond! He never, ever got away. Snowglobe!!

  • Loren says:

    Libby was in the same mental ward as Hurley: She’s currently working through “Baby Steps” by Dr. Leo Marvin.

    HAHAHAHA

    oh Rachel, this list is fantastic. Just LOOKING at the picture of #1..Shannon with the transmission still gives me goosebumps.

  • alfiri says:

    I LOVE YOU!

    So many moments where I LOL’ed IRL and disturbed my Mum :DDD

    LOLOLOL 11 is the best *dies*

  • Laura says:

    A brilliant list. =D

    Yeah, #1 is my #1 as well. Just reading about it giving goosebumps gave me goosebumps!

    Personally I rank the four-toed statue pretty DAMN high as well. Think I started crying when I saw it.

  • zombres says:

    RACHEL, I FUCKING LOVE YOU. When is a high-powered TV/movie exec going to discover you and give you millions of dollars to write your own TV show/movie?

    REALLY, WHEN?!

  • the OTHER rachel who is awesome :) says:

    i heart you. so much. i needed this :)

  • Maki says:

    Lol @ no50!
    My favourite WTF moment: Arzt going Boom all over Losties! I had nightmares because of it!

    I love your list anyways!

  • schmiss says:

    4. Ben moves the island: He would have asked his friends to help him move, but…he doesn’t have any.

    LOOOOOL! This + Brangelina + Cylons = ULTIMATE WIN

  • Anno says:

    FRAKKIN’ A!

  • Amiry says:

    This was awesome. God I miss LOST. Is it January yet?

  • CrazyMaryT says:

    That was beyond awesome. Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Rose says:

    I cannot even express how much you rock, but I’m linking this to basically everyone I know. AWESOME. <33333

  • Debi says:

    How about supposed sibs Boone and Shannon doing the deed? I knew it was coming and still nearly fell off the couch when I saw it. By S2 I was wondering what was being pumped through the air vents into the writers room. LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    Locke meets his maker and says, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” God says, “…oh YEAH!?”

    BEST. THING. EVER.
    out of millions of best things, of course.

    btw…you’re “daily dose of lost” keeps me going. im serious. i read it everyday, even before i get on facebook. its that good.

    thank youuuuuuuu!
    <333

    Locke meets his maker and says, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” God says, “…oh YEAH!?”

  • Jess says:

    My biggest WTF moment was and is still Locke having been in a wheel-chair, mostly because it’s the only WTF moment I was completely un-spoilered for.

  • sara says:

    EPIC. This show is the king of OMGWTFTV.

  • heatherbird says:

    #39 made me spit out my drink. Poor Johnny. And I pretty much want to icon all these drink-spit-worthy quotes. With your permission, of course. Can I can I can I???

  • […] which offers the funniest, most clever episode recaps I’ve ever seen. This week, “The Top 50 OMGWTF Lost Moments” was unveiled on the site, and I am giddy about it. If you’re not familiar with the […]

  • Hey!T says:

    “26. Richard doesn’t age and Patchy can’t be killed: The only plausible explanation at this point? They’re Cylons.”

    This is exactly why I chose Team Robo!Zombie FTW on Fantasy BSG!!!!!

  • LuMaria says:

    I don’t know, I loved all of these, but had more, too…like Charlie being hung in the tree, or the whole thing about Ethan’s name not being on the flight manifest, etc..

  • RenLiam says:

    O M G W T F POLAR BEAR

    i actually did say that when i saw that the first time… and every other time there was a random polar bear in the show…

    …lost is the reason why i like polar bears now XD

  • tresbien says:

    Your list is amazing but I’d add to it the reveal of Mathias and Henrik remotely tracking electromagnetic anomalies for Penny. Thanks!

  • jen says:

    Fanfreakintastic! My own personal best WTF moment is the contrasting combination of S-3 Finale “Not Penny’s boat” + S-4 Finale “OMG it *is* Penny’s boat”. Finales seem to go best when Penny and boats are involved!

  • blue_fears12 says:

    The 4 toed statue still bothers the crap out of me.

    My little Greek Mythology loving brain went “It’s Helio’s foot!” And then it was never seen again.

  • Carla says:

    Wonderful.. amazing.. love your creations.. great talent.. You always seem to put into words what I am thinking!!!
    Hugs, Carla

  • Joanna (notevenu) says:

    Did I mention I love you? And not just ’cause you’re a fellow Jersey-girl and all that but you really are one spectacular chick! I can’t wait until Season 5 just for your recaps. Seriously!

  • Rowan says:

    What a great list. I’m happy to see so many of the moments where I said OMGWTF!, so many that I suggested, and SO MANY that I kinda forgot about. Plus, your commentary is, as always, hilarious.

  • Chris says:

    You are brilliant. That is all, except one of my OMG! moments was when Uncle Rico turned out to be Ben’s Daddy! In a way, anyway.
    And that Ben had parents at all, and was not a Cylon. XD

  • Green Queen says:

    I forgot about heaps of these. Especially #5, which is a HUGE WTF moment. Also: the eye of the island looks into Locke and concludes he’s just not that into him – BEST LINE.

  • Rikaks says:

    For me, the biggest WTF Lost moment was Sayid getting smacked in the head with the mysterious stick. And they didn’t answer it for weeks!

  • Leah3t says:

    That door with the map coming down was so classic. And Michael shooting Libby and A.L. made me jump ON MY COUCH. Thanks for helping me relive- no show astounds me like this one does, week after week.

  • JennC says:

    Fantastic list, I cracked up at #’s, 32, 28, and 26…and I agree w/ LuMaria, the whole Ethan not being on the manifest thing made the hair on the back of my neck stand up…*shiver*

  • Nilhuanwen says:

    Loved reading this, 17 made me giggle!

  • Karen says:

    Yeah, I think #5 or Flashback Jack are my top-two, but these are all WTF-worthy. Seriously, what other show EVER has FIFTY top WTF moments and there are still more than people can argue about??! Thanks so much for this…. love it.

  • Meg says:

    Um, remember when Sayid broke that Other’s neck with his effing feet? Or when Charlie got himself hanged? Those would have made my list.

  • Candice says:

    OMG THIS. In #3, doesn’t it look like Sawyer is thinking, “AND WHUT BITCH” while Sayid is like, “…”?

  • Chana says:

    Whoa, I just realized that in the picture with Patchy underwater, you can see BOTH of his eyes. KDKFHSDKHFAKLS ORGAN REGENERATION

  • FC says:

    Amazing!!!! I Lol’ed all the time! You just made my day :) :)

  • […] shock di Lost, quelli in cui non si sa pi cosa pensare, o come potrebbe andare avanti la trama. The Ack Attack ne stila una classifica di 50, cinquanta momenti che ci hanno fatto sbarrare gli occhi, dalla prima […]

  • Dawn says:

    I, too, concur with JennC and LuMaria on the Ethan WTF moment. That was the first time Lost made me fall out of my chair. And OMG how I’ve missed Lost recaps! So hilarious, especially “29. A map of the island is hidden on the Hatch’s blast door: Finally, they can find that damn Dharma IHOP they keep hearing about.”

  • MORPH says:

    Where is moment #14 and #15?

  • Jack says:

    I would go with when the Others took Walt at the end of Season 1! Gut wrenching!

  • Janice says:

    Mine too was “The thing is, we’re gonna have to take the boy”. WHAT???

  • Katie says:

    what about when “crazy french woman” runs into the lostie camp blathering about how when the black smoke appears, the others will come. and hey ho presto what do u know it does. Or that couple who get bitten by the spiders who get buried alive? Or the first time we hear the creepy whispers in the jungle?

  • Sara says:

    My WTF moment was really sad, it was when Gin died. I cried like someone in my family had just been killed! How could she live without Gin?!

  • Julia says:

    wow that was awesome- it was so funny too!
    I was so freaking surprised when Penny showed up in the season 4 finale, but it quickly turned to joy :)
    By the way, Charlie’s trippy vision is a take on a painting by Verocchio and Hurley is supposed to John the Baptist

  • […] here are the Top 50 “OMGWTF?” Lost Moments. Enjoy! RSS Filed under: Entertainment, Funny Stuff, Site Updates Ninja Kitty! […]

  • […] – Some classic Lost creepiness  […]

  • bsquared41 says:

    Hahahaha! 33’s commentary = awesome, 31’s was hysterical, 28’s was just…there are no words for how perfect that was. (And how great that movie is). But I think my fav might just be #27. “What do we know?” Nancy Grace is CRAZY!

    I love it. Well done, as always.

  • icedtea says:

    Fab list. 2, 4, and 7 were the biggest wth ones for me and your captions for 13, 31, 36 – hee!

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