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My Ode to Lost

May 19th, 2010 § 133

I’ve written a poem to commemorate the Lost finale this Sunday because I’m a giant geek, and that’s how I roll. I hope you like it, enjoy! :D



The time is finally upon us,
The end is drawing near.
I’d like to give it proper thanks
Before it disappears.

No doubt the end will shock and awe,
Impress, amaze, confuse.
But now it’s time to put our trust
In Lindelof and Cuse.

No matter how the ending goes,
We’ll no doubt be wanting more.
So for now I’d like to list the things
From Lost I’m thankful for.

***

Thanks for shirtless Sawyer, Sayid’s arms, and perma-stubble,
I’m glad the Losties kept their looks despite the constant trouble.

Thank you Lost for giving us the French lady’s transmission,
Which freaked us out way more than the lack of rescue missions.

Thank you for the wild boars, Dharma sharks, and polar bears,
The Hurley Bird, and Kate’s horse – which I think was really there.

Thanks for the Smoke Monster with all its freaky sounds,
And thank you for that time it tried pulling John Locke underground.

Thanks for the hatch and its button, which always needed pressing,
And thanks for Hurley’s love for Dharma brand ranch dressing.

Thank you for the flashback wigs, they tickled me immensely,
Except the one you used for Claire – I hate that one intensely.

Thanks for killing Frogurt via arrow in the chest,
And I’m sure the guys want to give thanks for seeing Kate undressed.

Thanks for Henry Gale’s balloon, Michael’s raft, and Desmond’s yacht,
Thanks for Scott and Steve – or wait – is it Steve and Scott?

Thanks for Vincent, Ben’s bunny, and Patchy’s little cat,
And thanks for Daniel’s Eloise, his white time-traveling rat.

Thanks for killing Nikki/Paulo and having Arzt go up in flames,
Despite the fact that he blew up, Leslie’s still a bitchin’ name.

Thanks for Sayid’s torcha scrunchie, the Jesus stick, and Ben’s baton,
Although I’m thanking no one for the drowning of the Kwons. ;_;

Thanks for all the “sons of bitches” “och brothahs” and “dudes,”
But most of all thanks for all the “Don’t tell me what I can’t dos!”

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
I’ll never see them the same again, so for that I thank you.

Thank you for ax-wielding Claire, she really is a nutter,
Although we still look back with love at Charlie’s peanut butter.

Michael went from dad to killer, but he claimed it’s not his fault,
So thanks for making Michael go and find his boy – WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!

Even though at first I couldn’t stand to see her smirk,
Thanks anyway for the kickass baby doctor Juliet Burke.

Thanks for all the mindtrips like Locke’s weird sweat lodge vision,
And thanks for letting John survive so many vehicle collisions.

Thanks for Kate and Sawyer’s sexy jungle bear cage scene,
Nothing gets you in the mood like a fish biscuit machine!

Thanks for Des and Penny’s heartbreaking freighter call,
Since for so long it seemed like they’d never reunite at all.

Thanks for Mr. Friendly and Richardo’s eyelashes,
Thanks for all the back, forward, and sideways flashes.

Thanks for killing Cooper, Keamy, Pickett, and Ana-Lucia dead,
And thanks for having Charlie call Aaron Turniphead.

Thanks for starting half the shows with someone’s open eye,
And even though it made us laugh, thanks for the CGI.

Although it’s what eventually led Daniel to his doom,
Thank you for his journal and his Constant, Desmond Hume.

Thanks for Sayid’s always impressive MacGyver skills,
And thanks for Eloise despite the fact that she always gives me chills.

Thanks for Mama Cass and Shambala in the van,
And thanks for making Daddy Linus the real Roger Work Man.

Thanks for Carmen Reyes, Mr. Cluck’s and Hurley hugs,
Thanks for Charles Widmore and his freighter full of thugs.

Rest in peace all those that left the show too soon,
Like Eko, Libby, Shannon, Daniel, Alex, Tom, and Boone.

Thanks for Christian Shephard’s jerky immorality,
And thanks for Patchy’s seeming immortality.

Thanks for Jin’s ghost story he told around the camp fire,
Thanks for that time Kate found the Others’ fake attire.

Thank you for the golf game, and for many a music montage,
And thanks for Jacob’s super creepy cave name collage.

Thanks for getting Jack to remove Ben’s fatal tumor,
We don’t know what we’d do without Benry’s sense of humor.

Thanks for Goodwin and for Kelvin and for Ethan’s creepy stare,
Thanks for Radzinsky’s bitchiness and Miles’ douchey dad Pierre.

Thanks for Frank Lapidus and his manly hairy chest,
Thanks for Richard giving baby!Locke that weirdo leader test.

Thanks for having Desmond wake up naked and confused,
And thanks for keeping Benjamin all beaten up and bruised.

Thanks for the Black Rock, and the statue with four toes,
And thanks for having Bernard find his way back to his Rose.

Thanks for letting Sun atone for her old pre-island sins,
We’d all have been so sad if that baby wasn’t Jin’s.

Thanks for the frozen donkey wheel and the portal in Tunisia,
Thanks for taking Jack’s appendix without any anesthesia. :)

Thank you for Room 23 and the crazy brainwash chair,
Thanks for having Theresa fall up and down the stairs.

Thanks for Sawyer’s nicknames and his awesome reading glasses,
And thanks for always letting him kick some major bad guys’ asses.

Even though I hate him, I’m giving thanks for Dr. Jack,
Because really, without him? There probably wouldn’t be an ack attack!

Thank you Michael Giacchino for making us both sad and pumped,
And special thanks for ending all Ben’s lines with poot poot BRUMP.

Thanks to Jorge, Matthew, Harold, Michael, Terry, Josh, both Ians, and Naveen,
Yunjin, Daniel, Maggie, Nestor, Emilie, Jeremy, Elizabeth, Adewale, Dom, and Evangelline.

I could go on forever, my love for Lost runs deep,
But now I’ll bring this to a close before I start to weep.

No more gun fights, no more monster, no more daddy issues,
I hope you’ve all stocked up on lots of Dharma tissues.
Our stiff upper lips may fail us when the screen at last goes black,
And I for one know I’ll be crying just as hard as Jack.

No more island, no more Dharma, no more hatch or crazy mothers,
No more beaches, no more flashes, no more Jears or Others.
Lost we love you, and we’ll miss you – there will never be another.
But I’m glad to say that if we’ve learned anything, we’ll see you in another life, brothah.

;__________________________;

*group hug*

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§ 133 Responses to “My Ode to Lost”

  • Kerrie says:

    Oh, I LOVE IT SO. Wonderful!

    I wish I could quit you, LOST…

  • Molly says:

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMG
    Thanks for making me cry/laugh.

  • Genevieve says:

    Wow! Without the LOST community my appreciation for this incredible show wouldn’t be the same.

    You’re thoughtful in your writing, the hilarious recaps and this incredible ode is proof of your talent!

    **wipes tears with Dharma tissues**

    Mahalo to you my dear ACK!

  • Wendy says:

    Brilliant, funny, touching, sweet,….amazingly good. Lost may be ending, but you MUST keep on writing!!!

  • erin says:

    i cannot believe you are making me cry about Lost ending!! i’m at work i have to be professional :P

    this is brilliant. but you should know that already. cause you’re awesome.

  • Rachel says:

    Thank you, ACK! The last line of that gave me chills/made me misty.

  • lauren says:

    “But I’m glad to say that if we’ve learned anything, we’ll see you in another life, brothah.”

    made me cry! absolutely perfect.

  • skfprincess9 says:

    I have been kind of a silent follower for a while but I just want you to know that this is amazing and I will truly miss reading your recaps! You’re awesome!

  • kathy says:

    This was so wonderful! Thank you for taking us all back for every memorable moment and thank you to everyone involved who made this the best TV show ever!
    We’ll love you forever LOST!

  • Katz says:

    I think I love you
    or this poem
    or both
    i can’t really think straight right now

    brb crying FOREVA

  • Jigga says:

    I cannot imagine this show without you. *HUGS*

  • LostTeaParty says:

    OOOHHHHHHhhhhhhhh AAAAccccckkkkkkkkkk! GENIUS. All. Of. It.! Thank you for this and for sharing your bad self with all of us all these lost years *sobs*

  • Sassette says:

    This is brilliant. I love it!

  • lafleur says:

    AYE, WELL SAID, BROTHAH!

  • LEX says:

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
    i shall see all my losties, again. IN ANOTHER LIFE, BROTHA. <3

    that was awesome. thank you!

  • Dawn says:

    “Thank you for Room 23 and the crazy brainwash chair”

    Your recap of that episode with Carl was my first Ack Lost recap, and I was HOOKED. Like other people here have said, you improve my Lost experience SO much.

    Thanks, Ack.

  • Sonrisas says:

    I agree – Thank goodness for Dr. Jack – if that’s what gave us the Ack Attack!!

  • Mary says:

    Oh my god, that was simultaneously funny and beautiful, and made me cry! That’s lovely. I hope Darlton sees it.

  • Starrie says:

    CRYING FOREVER. <3

  • JS says:

    Beautiful

  • Alba says:

    THANK YOU RACH!

  • Lou says:

    I am crying so hard at this :(

  • halfdutch says:

    BEST THING EVER. Although we disagree about Jack, it wouldn’t have been Lost without Ack Attack!! :)

  • Kinden says:

    Thanks so much for this, Ack!

    You’re the reason I continued watching Lost after season 3. So, thanks for the many years of fun!

    Hope you feel up to doing another series!

    You don’t have a donate button? Oh well, I’ve been clicking the ads.

  • Poozle says:

    THIS MADE ME CRY, POOZLE. ;;__;;

    WONDERFUL! <3333

  • Nuala says:

    I cried and laugh…

    Thanks for this and thanks for letting me have a blast after every amazing episode!! I’m gonna miss your Lost re-caps as much as I’m gonna miss Lost…

    I hope to see you in another life, sistah!

    Namaste…

  • Carla says:

    I need more tissues….. that was soooooo wonderful!!! Thanks for all the time and love you put into every post!!
    Hugs, Carla

  • kellysparrow says:

    OMG BRB CRYING FOREVERRRR

    THIS WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I’VE READ SO FAR. CANNOT COPE WITH THIS :'(

  • Amy Ess says:

    Ack, you raised the enjoyment level of Lost 10 fold. I don’t think any of us could express adequately our gratitude for your hard work and amazing sense of humor. While I’ll miss the show, I’ll miss the people I shared the experience with. You are one of those people. So, thanks ack, for dedicating yourself to something that made so many people happy.

  • Jey says:

    WTF I’m totally in love with it xD
    T___T

    and yep, I definetely need a group hug lol

  • NatyBee88 says:

    Totally brilliant. Gah. Cannot believe it will be over.

  • _atreiu says:

    :( good work :(

  • Evaline says:

    A-Freaking-Mazing

  • Anonymous says:

    AMAZING. Ack, I love you. This brought a tear to my eye. To say I’m going to miss lost would be the biggest understatement ever.

  • Peter says:

    epic poem. I welled up

  • Wintergirl says:

    You made me cry. Really, what will replace LOST?

  • jewels says:

    That made me sad….but I loved it. Thanks for all the laughs Ack! You’re brilliant

  • lostandfound says:

    Epic levels of awesomeness were just achieved. Well done, lady! I will miss you and your recaps greatly. Greatly. Thank you for bringing the funny, and thank you for making me cry. ;)

  • flotsamjunk says:

    BRB, JEARSING.
    Except my name is Lexx, so I guess it would be Lears? IDKBUT ;_______________;

    In other news, I really miss Juliet, hot damn.

  • Ashes says:

    I lost enthusiasm for Lost quite awhile ago, yet would not dream of missing an episode – I watch so that I can appreciate and enjoy your amazing recaps, which tickle me so delightfully with the friendly fun you poke so creatively! I am grateful to Lost for bringing me to your brilliant humor. Many thanks for the many bursts of laughter you have inspired, Ack, and thanks for being so generous with your gifts!

  • Stowaway says:

    *jumps into group hug* I don’t know what I will do without Lost and your Lost recaps! :(

  • glycerineclown says:

    Thanks so much for this. It’s really been a wonderful ride.

  • mandy dc says:

    if i wasn’t inspired enough to costume-it out for your BBQ Luau, this certainly put me over the edge.

  • Ack says:

    GUYS OH MAN these comments you are leaving me are making ME cry!!!! Don’t worry, I will still be around even if Lost is not <3

    Hahaha Mandy, my gift is getting other people to appreciate the things I appreciate, I don't know how it works but I manage to do it every time. I'll have all of you guys totally in love with Lost by the time you leave my house!

  • maggie says:

    ohhhhh man so cute

  • Renni says:

    I’ve cried over the impending end of Lost at least 10 times this morning, this is responsible for 3 of those times. I love you ack, and I’ll miss your Lost recaps when this is over ;_;

  • equeyaya says:

    thank you for this!

  • Elynne says:

    EqueYaYa, Hi! (It’s Lynnie!)

    Ack, this was just wonderful! Please keep writing; you are so gifted!

  • goheels83 says:

    dear, sweet, hilarious Ack, thanks for reducing me to tears with this – i will miss your recaps as much, if not more, than new episodes of lost. thankyou thankyou for the countless hours of hard work you invested in your blog – so many times your recap has been the highlight of my week. you first had me hooked with your recap that included jesse spano’s “I’m so excited, and i just can’t hide it….i’m so excited…i’m so excited….i’m so….so….scared!” caffeine pills and polar bears be damned. xoxo

  • Scott S. says:

    Best….Poem…Ever!

    (standing ovation)

    You should definitely have that printed and send it to Damon, Carlton and JJ.

    I have to admit that I have a connection with Scotland, so Des has always been a special character to me, so the last line was perfect.

    Thank you again for all your hard work.

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