{"id":62,"date":"2006-09-26T13:35:36","date_gmt":"2006-09-26T18:35:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theackattack.com\/?p=62"},"modified":"2008-04-12T13:37:38","modified_gmt":"2008-04-12T18:37:38","slug":"lost-recap-season-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.theackattack.net\/?p=62","title":{"rendered":"Lost Recap: Season II"},"content":{"rendered":"


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So Desmond is all like, “Dear LJ, OMG I cannot believe I missed Grey’s Anatomy last night. I had to restock the artillery closet, but GAWD I really wanted to see McDreamy.”<\/p>\n

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And Mama Cass was like, “Maaaaake your own kind of music! Siiiiiing your own special song!”<\/p>\n

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And so Locke was like ZOMG THAT IS TOTES MY FAVORITE SONG!!1!! Let’s go in there!<\/p>\n

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And then Flashback!Jack was all like, WTF is this thing on my head? Oh right it’s my hair. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But then we were like, OH SHIT<\/I> his hair kind of did look like that in the 90’s so maybe we shouldn’t make fu….actually, no whatev he looks retarded.<\/p>\n

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And so he was all like, “If we don’t live together, we’ll die alone! Or…something!!<\/p>\n

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And then the whole island watched as he ran away. By himself.<\/p>\n

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And then the Hatch was like “!LAZERLIGHTSHOWOMG!!11!1”<\/p>\n

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And then Locke was all like, “I LOVE LAMP!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And so Flashback!Desmond was all like, “Naught but tew minutes agoo I was tellin Pen that Ah haff tah get mah honah back, and now Ah’m perfectly happy, Brothah!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Do’Rag!Jack was like, “…I think I missed something…”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Flashback!Desmond was all like, “See yah in anothah life, Brothah, yeah? Ah have this grrreat jook to tell ya about a Snowman.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Emo!Jack was all like “Wahhhhhh!”<\/p>\n

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And then Hatch!Desmond was like *GOOGLY EYES*<\/p>\n

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So Sawyer’s out in the middle of the ocean and he’s like “OMFG YOU GOT A BAND-AID!?”<\/p>\n

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And Michael was like, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR GUNSHOT WOUND OR THE FACT THAT YOU SAVED MY LIFE! WAAAAAAAAALLLLTTTT!!!!!!1211!!!!! THEY TOOK MAH BOY<\/I> RIGHT OUTTA MY HANDS<\/I>! WALLLLTTT!!!!!!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Desmond is all like, “I haff an grrreat jook for yoo, Brothah. How doo yoo catch ah rabbit?”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Locke is all like, “Well…you would follow its tracks and maybe…set a trap?”<\/p>\n

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And Desmond goes, “Hide in tha bushes and make noises like a carrot. HAHA!” *googly eyes*<\/p>\n

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So Charlie is all like, “I’m possibly on drugs but I am still fecking adorable!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Kate is like eating Dharma!Snickers and she’s all *spontaneously orgasms*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So that’s when Jin is all like “OMFG UDDDERRRRSSSSSSSSSZZZ!!!!11!11ONE!!!<\/p>\n

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And then Locke’s Dad was like, “HI I AM A DOUCHEBAG.”<\/p>\n

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And so then Desmond’s like “Joost savin the world he says. THE END!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then that Dharma guy is like, “Boogedy boogedy!! Look, I only have one arm!! NAMASTE, BITCH!” *pokes with something pointy and then hugs you*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then we were all like, “…okay, wtf is this?”<\/p>\n

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No srsly, WTF IS GOING ON?<\/p>\n

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OMGWTFBBQ!!1!???<\/font> *curls into fetal position*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Locke was all like “Well we’re just going to have to watch that again,” but before he did he ran over to the Hatch computer and was all like ;LKSDJF;ALKSDJF;LJSD;LKFJSDLK on and everyone was all like, “WTF SPOILER ALERT!! GO AWAY PLZ!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So Jin and Michael were stuck in a hole and Jin was all like, “MY-KOOL! UDDERS! SOY-YAH! NO OY-STAH HEE-YAH!”<\/p>\n

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And Sawyer was all, “Whoa Chewie, watch it with that Jin-glish.” <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But then Ana-Lucia was all like, “I AM SUCH A BITCH!”<\/p>\n

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Then Desmond was like, “Ahm runnin’ away, fancy doctorrr mahn!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Emo!Jack was all like, “Wahhhhhh!!!” *sniff*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Hurley finds the Dharma!Snickers and he’s<\/i> all like *spontaneously orgasms* and we’re all kind of like “Ugh this was kind of way hotter when Kate did it.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Jin was all like, “Have a cluckity cluck cluck day!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Claire was like, “WTF messages in a bottle? The bottle probably just fell off that hastily strewn-together raft. Or…yes. They are all dead.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Ana-Lucia was like, “DON’T FORGET I AM A TOTAL BITCH!!!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Sawyer was like, “Ooooh FIESTY!!! Me likey.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Claire is like, “Partially hydrogenated soybean oil!?”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

*gets happy in her pants*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Charlie is just like thinking in his head “ZOMG MUST FIND JELLY ZKDJF;LKJF”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Bernard is just like, “I am a very white cracker-ass man. Bet you didn’t see that one coming!”<\/p>\n

And then he went up to Libby, who was trying to interpret what Jin was saying and he was like, “Excuse me, miss? I speak Jive.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Ana-LuLu is like, “MY TEETH ARE LETHAL WEAPONS! FEAR THEM!” And Bernard was all like, “Word.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So that’s when Eko was all like, “HIDE AHND GOOH SEEK!” and Jin was like, *blank look* “Boooat!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then we were all like, OMGWTFPOLAR<\/STRIKE>TEDDYBEAR!!!111!!!!1!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Michael was all like, “I HAVE TO FIND MAH BOY!” and we were all like, STFU already dude we know you want your boy back.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Sayid erected a tent for Shannon *nudge nudge wink wink* and he was all like, “Baby, I may be a torrrchura, but I am also a LOVAH<\/i>.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then he’s like, “I’m running out to the store for some smokes, you want anything?”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Flashback!Boone is like *WORST FLASHBACK HAIR EVER* <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Sawyer is like “I AM TOO HOT TO DIE.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So then Shannon is all like, “You finally actually kind of like me now, don’t you?” And we were all like, “Yeah okay we do.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Sayid was all like OMFG HALLUCINATION!WALT!!!11!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Hallucination!Walt was all like, “SHHHHHHHHHHHH.” And the hairs on the backs of our necks were all like “I’M UP! I’M UP!!”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Ana-Lucia was all like, “Hey nice to finally meet you.” And we were all like *GASP!*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And then Shannon was all like, “And scene.” *DED*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And Sayid was all like, (Darth Vadar voice) “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”<\/p>\n

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