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Lost Recap 6×17: The End Part III of III

May 30th, 2010 § 171

Part III of the epic three part Lost Finale recap!

Click to read Part I
Click to read Part II


“Hey Doc, you know where I could get some grub and/or make out with your ex-wife around here?”

Sawyer’s Apollo Bar gets stuck in the vending machine, and it’s only a matter of moments before a certain Leggy Blond we know comes to swap sarcastic comments with him!

Juliet: You know, if you unplug the vending machine the candy will just drop the to bottom.
Sawyer: Is that so? Or do you just want to get me in the dark?

So he unplugs the thing, and the candy falls down, and as soon as they touch they both flash!!!

Ack: They both remembered those 5 scenes they were in together last year that apparently was enough to convince half the audience that they were a happy couple and that all those years of character development between them and Kate and Jack was over in a matter of one episode!
Audience: Hey! Stop being so bitter!
Ack: I CAN’T HELP IT, I’M SORRY. ;_;

Conveniently they didn’t have enough scenes together to have any bad stuff to remember, except that time Juliet fell to her death, although she wasn’t a bad guy.

And even though I hate Sawyer and Juliet together almost as much as Jack and Kate together, that moment when they both remembered Juliet falling and they both stepped back a bit was really sad!

You know what guys, let’s all just be happy that they are happy, no matter who it is that is making them happy, okay? Okay. So they made their plans to get coffee and go Dutch and everything was hunky dory.

***

Back in the Sideways World, Jack finally shows up to the concert way after it’s over. Kate comes strolling up to him in porn star heels that only a man would have bought for a woman (nice, Desmond), and she wants to chat.

Jack: Do I know you?
Kate: You mean, like, in the biblical sense?
Jack: Did you steal my pen?
Kate: Is that a euphemism?
Jack: You mean like getting caught in a net?

Even though Kate grabbed his noggin and he started to have island flashes again, Jack repressed them AGAIN! Kate knew that the only way she’d get him to understand was to bring it all back to the beginning. Jack had to go see his daddy.

Grab your life jackets, people. The Jearstorm’s coming, and I can already see it starting to Jearizzle.

***

Hurley: You going down there is suicide, dude! The island needs you!
Jack: No, the island needs you, Hurley! I was only a temp hired to finish this project, you’re obviously the permanent Island Team Player!

Jack managed to convince Hurley to drink the magical potion and become the island guardian, even though Hurley’s puppy dog face made it super hard. Good thing Jack had just done this like 12 hours ago, he remembered exactly what to do!

Of course Ben is standing there, mumbling something about how he could have been a contender, but he gives Jack the dirty bottle to fill with dirty water to give Hurley magical powers and/or dysentery.

Even I’ll admit Jack was being really brave, although it’s too bad those tears of his didn’t have healing powers ala a phoenix because he’d have been in ship shape in no time!

Anyway, Ben and Hurley lower Jack into the bottom of Mount Doom (I mean, one does not simply walk into Mordor), and he finds Desmond laying there, screaming about how he’s not even supposed to BE here today!

Then in some kind of crazy hat-trick Jack does 3 likable things all at once! He tells Desmond to go home and be with his wife and son, he makes a funny about finally be right for once, and then he says, “I’ll see you in another life, brother,” which sounds really lame, but at this point we all just want to hug the guy!

***

And then Sawyer and Kate finally get to the other island, and they can hear the plane montage coming to an end, but this crazy bitch Claire is still sitting there being all pouty and wigging out!

Claire: I don’t know how to be a mother! Jack finally stopped whining, so as his sister I have to take up that duty!
Kate: Claire! For chrissakes! Your coochie is my Constant, will you please just get your tiny ass in gear!? Build yourself a bridge and get the fuck over it!
Claire: Oh, alright!

So FINALLY, they all start running for the plane, and luckily Frank, Richard, and Miles had all just faded out of the montage with enough time to notice these tiny little specs running towards them!

And thanks to that runway Kate and Sawyer helped the Others build, the plane took off, the music swelled, and the happy violins of freedom played our Losties off this goddamn island once and for all!!!!!!!

*slow clap*

***

Jack’s apparently built like a brick shithouse because despite having his head bashed in with a rock, being stabbed in the side, and falling down the waterfall, he still has it in him to stick the rock back into the fiendish thingy!!!!

And after a dramatic pause, all his Jears started filling up the pool again, and Jack made the most hilarious face of all time, and we were all like, “CONGRATUWELLDONE, JACK. YOU FINALLY GOT TO BE THE HERO YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!”

*continuing the slow clap*

Desmond got hauled back up to the top, and even though we were all happy our sexy Scot made it through this ordeal, Hurley and Ben wanted to know what the hell happened to Jack!

And so did we, come to think of it – the last time a guy fell into that light he become a pissed off pillar of smoke! Would Jack just become one giant floating Jear cloud or what!?

***

So back at the church where even Jesus is like “OMGWTF!?” it seems like people are gathering!

Locke: Hello, Benjamin.
Ben: Hello, John.
Locke: Are you coming inside?
Ben: I think I have some more things I need to work out first.

Locke: So you killed me, so what? I forgive you.
Ben: So what? Sew buttons! I don’t deserve what lies inside those doors yet, friend.
Locke: Well I guess fate has a “You broke it, you bought it” kind of policy.

And that’s when Locke is healed-ah by the power-ah of the Lord-ah. Or something like that.

Although he wouldn’t have even tried to walk without our little Benry, so it looks like he is getting better after all.

***

“So if I’m the new island Santa Clause, do you want to be my Head Elf? I know Jacob was kind of a douche to you, but I could use someone with experience.”

Ben: It would be an honor, o captain my captain. How about we start by helping Desmond go home?
Hurley: But no one can leave the island, how can we do that?
Ben: Oh, that’s just how Jacob ran things. Like you said, he was kind of a douche. You can run this chocolate factory however you want, Charlie, Hugo.

Remember that time Hurley and Ben shared a candy bar by the cabin? Well now they’re gonna share the island in an equally adorable way.

So Hurley became the best guardian the island ever had. I’d like to think he helped Desmond get home, flew Carmen and Cheech there for luaus, let the surviving Losties come and go over the years whenever they’d like, and helped all those trapped ghosts move on.

I mean, if anyone deserves to live a few thousand years and help people, I think it’s Hugo. <3

***

Hurley: You coming in, dude?
Ben: No, I don’t think so. Not yet.
Hurley: Okay. You know…you were a real good #2.

Audience: lolz
Ben: And you were a great #1, Hugo.
Audience: …lolz.

“This is where I was going to have my father’s funeral. Why are we here?”

“I’ll be waiting inside once you’re ready to leave. You’ll find your black sweat suit, purple shroud, and Nikes right inside the door. I’m sure the Kool-Aid is mixed up by now. See ya.”

And so while Jack sat there trying to make sense out of things, Kate went inside to change into something a little more comfortable less slutty.

***

Jack woke up in the same exact spot Jacob found Smokey’s body, but instead of turning into a cloud, Jack was still human! And alive! Barely!

Most people would have probably just stayed there and died, but Jack Shephard is apparently 2 Legit 2 Quit!

***

He goes into the back room of the church where his father’s body is, and we’re all kind of wondering, “WTF kind of hippie church is this, with the crosses and Stars of David and the Yin and Yang and – is that a frozen donkey wheel!?”

As this is like, the CULMINATION OF EVERYTHING, and since Daddy Jearbucks is involved, Jack performs the patented Shephard Head Squeeze®!

So he puts his hand down on the coffin and FINALLY FINALLY JACK REMEMBERS!!!!!!!

He remembers crashing on the island and saving the shit out of people all the time! He remembers Kate and saving even more people! The Lost producers must have had a really hard time trying to find that many clips of Jack actually smiling!

Conveniently Jack doesn’t remember making every huge mistake known to man, or becoming a bearded drug addict, or being a self righteous, bossy, whiny, arrogant ass to 95% of the people he came into contact with, but IT DOESN’T MATTER! You know why?

Because – BRACE YOURSELVES – JACK HAS REDEEMED HIMSELF. Shock! Horror! Etc! I mean, dude saved the world you guys. Cut him a break. ;D

SO ANYWAY, Jack finally opens the coffin and – GASP! There is no one inside! OMGWTFPOLARBEAR!?!?!?! A’S;LFK’A;SLDKF’;LKADSL;’AFKDLS;

Christian: Hey, kiddo.
Jack: DAD?
Audience: CHRISTIAN!?
Jack: I don’t understand…you DIED!
Audience: YEAH, YOU DIED!!!!!
Jack: How are you here?
Christian: How are you here?

“Uh….because…the Force is strong in my family. My father has it…I have it…and my sister has it.”

“Well…close enough. I’m dead, but you’re dead too, Jack. We all are.”

JEARSIUS MAXIMUS!!!!!! ;___________________;

Jack: Are you real?
Christian: Of course I’m real! Everything that’s happened to you is real!
Jack: They’re all dead too?
Christian: Everybody dies sometime, some before you and some waaaay after you!

Christian explains that there is no “now” where they are – they all made this place together so they could find one another. The time they spent on that island was the most important part of their lives!

And that’s when the audience started freaking out as hard as Jack! It turns out none of them could “move on” without one another because they needed each other to remember! Because no one does it alone!

JEARS IN HEAVEN ;_;

“Wunderbar! Now quit acting like a pussy and go say hi to all your little friends out there.”

So Jack finally steps out into the sanctuary and he finds all his Oceanic 815 buddies there! This is either Heaven or the most attractive AA meeting ever!

Sayid doesn’t care that Nadia’s not there, and Boone’s not mad that Shannon’s looking longingly into Sayid’s eyes!

Locke’s girlfriend Helen is nowhere to be found, but he doesn’t mind because he could totally break dance his way into heaven now that his legs are fixed!

But in case you thought that JUST MAYBE Damon and Carlton would leave us with a Super Mega Happy Ending, you were WRONG! Because Lost has always been about good AND bad, the happy AND the sad, black AND white, and of course life AND death.

What better way to end the series than one of those magical music montages in which you remember just how much you love the show?

WE WILL MISS YOU, DESMOND AND PENNEH! :(

WE WILL MISS YOU, CHARLIE AND AARON AND SHANNON AND CLAIRE AND SUN! :(

WE WILL MISS YOU, JIN, AND LIBBY, AND HURLEY! :(

…and meanwhile Jack is making his way back to the beginning…

WE WILL REALLY MISS YOU, SAWYER!!!!!! ;_;

WE WILL MISS YOU, KATE! :(

…to have the story end where the story began…

And then everyone sat down together with their significant others on the pews except for Locke and Boone but whatever…

And even though they’re all really happy to finally be together again, and to be moving on with the people that meant so much to them, we can’t help but get all Jearsy about it ;_____;

And as if we weren’t already crying hard enough, VINCENT HAS TO COME AND LAY DOWN NEXT TO JACK because Vincent was there the moment Jack woke up after the crash…

And Christian Shephard finally lives up to his ridiculously ~*symbolic*~ name by opening the doors and letting in that magic sparkly light that lives inside every one of us and also in the island’s hoo-ha…

AND THEY’RE ALL SO HAPPY BECAUSE THEY’RE FINALLY TOGETHER, EVEN THOUGH WE’RE ALL SO SAD… D:

AND JACK IS LAYING THERE ON THE GROUND WITH VINCENT, HERE AT THE END OF ALL THINGS, AND WE’RE ALL LIKE, “THAT’LL DO, PIG. THAT’LL DO…”

AND AS IF THAT WEREN’T BAD ENOUGH THE FRIGGING PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD JUST LIKE IN THE PILOT BUT IN ONE PIECE, SO WE KNOW FRANK WILL GET THEM HOME SAFE AND SOUND…

AND JACK REALIZES THAT HE ACTUALLY WAS RIGHT THIS TIME…

AND THE BRIGHT LIGHT FILLS THE CHURCH AND WE KNOW ALL OUR LOSTIES WILL REST IN PEACE…

…and Jack closes his eye and dies, the final shot of the entire series one final Jear quivering on the edge of his lashes.

Super Crazy Lost Fans: SO SIDEWAYS WORLD WAS PURGATORY!!!!!!! AGHHHH!!!!!;LA’;LSKDF;’LAKSDF;LASD
Your Everyday Lost Fans: So the Sideways World was purgatory! Neat!
The n00b Lost fans: OMG I WAS RIGHT, THE ISLAND WAS PURGATORY, YOU GUYS!!!!!
Super Crazy Lost Fans: *head desk*

THE END!!!!!!!!!

***

On a personal note, I’d like to thank each and every one of you who has come to read my recaps every week for the last 4 years. These recaps started as a joke, and I never EVER had any idea that they’d become such a phenomenon. I will always look back on my time as a crazed Lost fangirl with love, and a lot of that has to do with you guys. My readers…are the best readers…of all the readers. Writing these recaps has been a challenge to say the least, but all the love I receive in return for them always made it totally worthwhile. I’m so happy I could make you guys laugh week after week. I may recap a new show, I may not…but you should all know that for me, YOU MADE LOST WORTH LIVING! :D

The Ack Attack isn’t going anywhere, so please stop by and visit!

You can find all my Lost Recaps HERE.

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§ 171 Responses to “Lost Recap 6×17: The End Part III of III”

  • erin says:

    crap. i’m crying again. eears…..i have eears. hardly as effective.

    can we start to create our spinoff about kate & sawyer & the super awesome happy life they live as sorta/kinda fugitives together crazy in love for the rest of the years they spent after getting off frank’s plane now? sawyer could still become cop buddies with miles but we could throw kate in the mix too and make them private investigators instead The ConMan and Mrs Ford? no? no? yea….i got nothing. *sigh*

  • Starrie says:

    Thank you, Ack, for four years of brilliant, hilarious and flat-out fantastic recaps. I’m jearing again after finishing this, so clearly you’ve done your job well. See you in another life, brothah. :’)

  • kc says:

    They both remembered those 5 scenes they were in together last year that apparently was enough to convince half the audience that they were a happy couple and that all those years of character development between them and Kate and Jack was over in a matter of one episode!

    Ha ha, love it! Man, forget the Jate and Suliet endings, the journey’s what counts. !Viva Skate, the island’s “Bonnie and Clyde”, forever!

    Thanks for your recaps, as always, Ack :)

  • Jls05 says:

    I have been following your recaps since season 4 and have always been a lurker…until now!

    I just wanted to say that all of these reacps have been FABULOUS! Some have been so hilarious at times that I have had stomach ache/snorted a sip of drink taken at the wrong time/embarrassed myself in front of a room full of people. The recaps are as good as (actually, let’s face it, better than) the episodes themselves!

    Thanks for making us smile every week, all your time and effort to produce each masterpiece is truely appreciated…

    THANK YOU ACK!!!!!!

  • Andy says:

    The best part about being a super crazy Lost fan was reading the ack attack — and getting to laugh at all the crazy we were trying to make sense of every week! after having a quasi religious experience with the finale, I can’t wait to “go back!!!!” and relive the entire show… thanks for all the hard work and lolz you put into every recap!

  • Julie says:

    You. Are. The Best.

  • Tania says:

    I vote for that Skate after they were off the island. Also if you force things to work for skate, You can say neither Kate nor Sawyer could move on cos they felt guilty they “left” people on the island. And they needed them (Jack and Juliette) to move on…

    But yeah that’s forcing things… Still They left the island together right?
    Oh well, At least I dont’ totally hate the juliette idea. Not that I like it but still. *sighs*

    Thanks again for the recaps, they have been So much fun, part of the love I have for lost is the fandom, I will always thank my dear friend Oona for pointing me your LJ all those years ago. You rock! ;)

    See you on the other side! (..other show maybe?).

  • MaskedVigilante says:

    WE LOVE YOU, ACK!! Thank you for 4 years of lolz!!!

  • tbirdy says:

    You are the best, Ack! I’ve laughed so much at your recaps, and nodded my head saying “Yes! Yes, exactly!” so many times. I’ll miss these as much as I’ll miss “Lost”.

    (my suggestion for new recaps–“Mad Men”!)

  • founderika says:

    Ack, you have really enhanced the ride! Good luck in all your future endeavors!

  • TippyDawg says:

    We found you a number of years ago by complete accident after reading a brief article about your site in the local newspaper.

    We’ve been dedicated Att-ackers ever since.

    May we all grow up to have doctorates in motherfuckology from the Jack Bauer Institute and be somewhere else when an Iraqi torcha, a dentist and a Korean hitman walk into our local bar. And hopefully avoid having moobs.

    We will genuinely miss you. Take care and the very best of luck

  • ewu says:

    thank you so much for your hilarious recaps that became a part of the wonderful LOST experience for me. words cannot express my gratitude and admiration for your wit. maybe you could continue writing about LOST in this way – some commentaries about LOST ships/fights/individual characters/themes/? ANYTHING?

    thanks again for everything!

  • Shannon says:

    Oh man, I’m crying again. Thank you so much for these recaps. I’ve looked forward to them every week just as much as the show and I will miss them tremendously.

    And might I say, I do believe that you went out with your best recap ever. I’ve just spend the last half hour laughing my ass off. I can’t even attempt to remember all my favorite parts because every single reference was awesome.

    Thank you.

  • I’ve been reading your recaps for ever, and you even inspired me to write my own (about True Blood, because I could never hope to compare to you about LOST), and I just wanted to say thank you. You have no idea how many times I’ve come and re-read them when I’m having a crap day.

    I’ve gotten so much joy from writing my own recaps, so it’s like some sort of circle thing or something, and you are completely amazing, and I will still be coming by here to see what you have, even if it’s just to re-read the season 1 recap for the 4738th time. So thanks. You’re fab and fantastic, and you have made LOST so much more fun.

  • Antoinette says:

    Now see if you wrote the finale I’d like it a lot better. lol Nah it’s still just those ten minutes. I can’t believe you got this done already. Nice work. But if Jack had said “I love me too” I would have married that finale churchbus to Heaven or not.

    p.s. I love how you talked yourself into supporting Julawyer. You have a power I don’t understand and could never have. ;)

  • Rachel Hope says:

    OH MAN! Your Recap made me sob almost as much as the finale!!! Thank You ACK!!!! I’ll miss you!

  • LostinEmotion says:

    “Most people would have probably just stayed there and died, but Jack Shephard is apparently 2 Legit 2 Quit!”
    You did NOT go there! LOL!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdk1gwWH-Cg

    Ack, I have said it before, you are the absolute BEST. I wish could give you a dollar for each time you made me do a Steve Urkel-esqe laugh-snort at one of your recaps. I am near Jears now (or maybe just a Jearizzle) knowing that I will never read another hilarious LOST recap from you again. I IMPLORE you, for the love of Jacob to please continue with this in some form. You have a gift. If you publish these recaps, I will be in line to buy it. You can be as certain of that as the fact that Sayyid Jarrah can kill people with normal household appliances.

    But seriously, what made your recaps great was that your love of the characters and the show always came through. (Even when reecapping an ep like “What Kate Does” . . .gag!) It’s appreciated more than you know. You have really enhanced my Lost experience. Thank you for the time, care, and love you put into this project.

    Thank you again so much, and Namaste! :-)

  • Me says:

    This recap was as amazing as the finale. Sadly, with this Lost is really over for me. So sad. :( But thank you for all your effort over the years with these recaps. They were incredibly funny and would always make me laugh.

  • Aw, I’m sure Nadia and Helen and, erm, someone who liked Boone completed their own journeys somewhere so the Losties knew they were at peace in whatever-the-light is. Or else it’s just quite depressing and let’s not think about it. HAPPINESS!

    “Okay. You know…you were a real good #2.
    Audience: lolz
    Ben: And you were a great #1, Hugo.
    Audience: …lolz.”

    I hate myself for actually doing this. I am apparently five frikkin’ years old.

    I found this site because of Benry Knows Best, but stayed for your recaps. They’ve been consistently hilarious, and this last epic was no exception. Thanks Ack! Let’s see what’s next. :)

  • monogirl says:

    Slow clap, Ack, slow clap. Thank you so much for all your hard work.

    OMG I still can even *read* a *recap* with out crying. (sniffle)

  • Ack says:

    OH, YOU GUYS.

    *GROUP HUG*

    I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. You guys are the best ever, I swear it.

  • Joy says:

    Ack, you are truly amazing. I have recommended your blog to every Lost fan I know, and they love it as much as I do. My husband is “too cool” to read blogs, but I read the best parts out loud to him (which usually ends up being most of each post!). I know he’s secretly listening, because I’ve been crying at everything Lost-related this week, and he says, “Oh, here comes the Jears.” Thank you for sharing your incredible gift of humor and snarkiness! You rock!

  • kid entropia says:

    paraphrasing the great villain-turned-great number 2 Ben Linus, your recaps have meant more to us than we can say.
    thanks a lot, rachel :D.

  • Soile says:

    Loved your recaps! Thanks for all these years. I’m sad Lost is over but what an amazing show it was! I felt almost enlighted after watching the last episode.

    Since I know this is a place where big-brained Lost fans roam, I just have to ask that did Miles, Eko, Ana-Lucia, Daniel, Charlotte etc. go together to someplace else or just alone? Or did they moved on right away and didn’t hang on the purgatory?

  • Kssmeford says:

    Thanks a lot! Your recaps are awesome…Brilliant.
    I can not believe it is OVER.

  • Laura says:

    *clapping* thank you so much for all your wonderful recaps. will miss them very much

  • Elynne says:

    One week later, and I’m crying again. As I rewatch the series (and I will) I will also be reading your recaps right along with each episode.

    You are the BEST!

  • Devon says:

    *slow clap*
    I’ll still be your fan on facebook Ack. :D
    Love it! I’m gonna have to read these again sometime. There won’t be another show like this in a long time.

    btw, thought you would like this:
    http://senorgif.com/2010/05/27/funny-gifs-how-it-really-ended/

  • Laura says:

    Even just a recap is making us all cry again. D;

    What am I saying, “just a recap”? YOU ARE FANTASTIC. I HAVE ENCLOSED THE BIGGEST CYBER-HUG I HAVE EVER GIVEN. Thank you for making Lost even better.

  • Daphne1D says:

    I’m all weepy again. Thanks so much for doing these, I’m really going to miss them. :)

  • CHOFI says:

    Oh my god, Ack. I’ve been following you since your Season 3 finale recap was published in a Spanish website… since then (3 years ago!) I totally look forward your recaps; sometimes they were better than the episode itself… Even a good friend of mine and I have this sort of ritual of reading together your recaps and finding out the references (The Office, etc) -since we’re Spanish, a lot of them are unkown to us ^^-…

    We’re really gonna miss the show, but we also going to really really re-heheheeeally (ala Dr. Cox ^^) miss your recaps!!

    For crissake’s, I even cried with this! CHEARS (lol?) are coming down my face… :(

    Be safe!

    Un beso :)

    (Sorry if my English it’s not perfect…)

  • cj says:

    And with this one (or these 3) I guess that means it’s finally, finally over. I never choked up during the entire finale – except when Vincent laid down next to Jack as he died. And reading about it again here.

    Thanks for doing such a fantastic job with all your recaps, Ack. I’ll miss them as much as I’ll miss Lost.
    cj

  • AJ says:

    Thank you for this final huzzah, Ack! It’s been amazing and spectacular and Jearstastic and your recaps are my constant and I’ll see them in another life brotha and they lie in the shadow of the statue and everything.

    I almost quit LOST after season 3, and one day, just a little while before season 4 was going to start, I stumbled across these recaps. Basically, they’re the reason I kept watching, and that is some Walt-quality specialness right there. Thank you soooo so much for all the time and effort you put into them! :)

  • SON OF CLOWN says:

    I’m glad someome mentioned the #1 and #2 giggles. These recaps will use any level of humor. I remember being surprised to find out that you’re not a 14 year old boy after the great “LaPenis! In the cockpit!” joke.

    Although I didn’t get every pop culture reference I get such a kick out of the ones I did recognize. Joey’s “moo point”. Good one.

    Like everyone else I have to tell you how much you added to the LOST experience. Thanks for everything Rachel !!!

  • Who's name shall not be spoken says:

    oh My GOSH!!!!!
    I’ve been a silent reader for EVER and I have loved your recaps!
    You are really a talented writer and I look forward to whatever you might recap about next!
    Do you have any show, (or movie), in mind?

  • animenutcase says:

    I teared up during the finale, but I didn’t cry like I did during The Candidate. I guess I have a hard time crying during happy scenes. Your recap made me tear up, too. I heard that Mr. Eko was supposed to be there, but the actor demanded too much money. :( But that that’s okay! We’ll just pretend he was there.

    As a slasher, I didn’t care much for the Jate vs. Skate vs. Jacket vs. Suliet debate. I like to think Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Juliet are having hot foursomes in heaven now.

    You left Jack off your “We’ll miss you” list? :(

  • jewels says:

    That definatly made me laugh as always and actually shed some Jears!

    But seriously I have been following your recaps for a long time now (maybe the whole time? I don’t remember lolz) and I love every one! I waited for your recaps almost as impatiently as the episodes themselves and I was never disappointed.

    Well I guess the show is officially over for me now…Thanks for all the laughs and I will miss your recaps just as much as I will miss LOST itself.

  • Teleholic says:

    Oh Ack. I’m sobbing right now. The show’s over, and now your recaps are over. I just want to say thank you so much for doing this every week. I know it takes you HOURS to work on these recaps and the fact that you do it just to make us laugh makes you as awesome as Jack turned out to be in The End.

    Again, THANK YOU.

  • ELAINE SARMIENTO says:

    I’ll see you around sometimes, Ack..
    Take care,

    ***Sears streamin’ down my face…***

  • Nanaluvren says:

    YOU FUCKING RULE!

    LOVED EVERY SINGLE RECAP! YOU MADE LOST SO MUCH BETTER!

    Seriously though.

    Thank you for all the laughs.

    You rock.

    That is all.

  • JR says:

    omgaaaaaah. *is so jearing right now and is totally happy her name starts with ‘J’ so she can use the word jears, lol*

    “Would Jack just become one giant floating Jear cloud or what!?”

    Ha ha ha!! Absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for all these amazing recaps/ongoing Lost posts/other Lost related posts throughout all these years. It’s truly just enhanced my Lost experience so much and it just wouldn’t have been the same without them. I was dreading reading this because I knew once I did, Lost would just be completely over, but I think more and more I’m gaining closure and being able to move on, even though I’ll never let completely go because I don’t ever want to lose my lose for this amazing show. Again, thank you so much and I’ll most certainly keep dropping by here even though Lost is over!

  • Mary says:

    Now,that you have posted your recap,LOST is REALLY over…
    Damn.Thank you for all the recaps,for making us laugh and cry
    and for the effort.I´ll miss your recaps as much as I´ll miss the show itself.

    Super Crazy Lost Fans: SO SIDEWAYS WORLD WAS PURGATORY!!!!!!! AGHHHH!!!!!;LA’;LSKDF;’LAKSDF;LASD
    Your Everyday Lost Fans: So the Sideways World was purgatory! Neat!
    The n00b Lost fans: OMG I WAS RIGHT, THE ISLAND WAS PURGATORY, YOU GUYS!!!!!
    Super Crazy Lost Fans: *head desk*

    BEST WAY TO END THE RECAP.

  • JR says:

    Crap, that’s supposed to read ‘lose my love for this amazing show.’ Ha ha, nothing like one last spelling mistake for the road, right? xD

  • Courtney says:

    Ack, thank you so much for your wonderful recaps. They were better than the actual show! My husband, sister and I will miss them terribly.

    I did not tear up during the finale, but I did cry my own river of Jears reading your recap. It was awesome!

    As others have said, you have a real gift and a talent. I hope you continue to write in some form or fashion. Thanks again!

  • sneezy says:

    Your recaps were teh bestest, Ack! You rock!

    And there’s nothing to be sad about re: Skate, they escaped together, didn’t they? ;) Frank probably dropped them off in LA and they went straight to Kate’s house and shagged each other senseless in the living room. And the hallway. And the kitchen. And the stairs. And the upstairs hall closet. And the back deck.

  • Dani says:

    Yeah, what everyone else said.

    YOU are the reason why I kept watching this ridiculous show year after year! I’m such a big fan of yours, I even got my hubby calling Ben “Benry”.

    “Fiendish thingy”! Obscure Beatles ref FTW! :)

    Thanks for all the recaps that made suffering through all the Jears worthwhile!

  • Carina says:

    I started reading this when Season 6 started, and I spent a day reading the past recaps and laughing so hard. Every Tuesday after the episode was over, the first thing I did was read the mini-recap and the full recap was the highlight of my Sunday evening, I would even read it on my phone if I wasn’t near a computer. One time I read it when I was in the ER for what turned out to be appendicitis, and it kept me laughing while I was there trying to stay calm. What I’m trying to say was your site made watching Lost that much richer, funnier and all around enjoyable. Thank you for doing this.

  • goheels83 says:

    Bravo, bravo, bravo, Ack. By far, your finest recap ever. You really pulled out all the (phallic-shaped cork) stops. I can’t wait to re-read all of your recaps in the near future. Thank you so much for all of your hard work – I, for one, have always looked forward to your recaps as much as new Lost episodes. You are a genius, my friend.

  • goheels83 says:

    Oh and it also must be said that by the end of this recap you had me in Jears. Lots o’ Jears. That’s a first with my Ack recaps.

  • Sarah says:

    Oh, Ack, I’ve been waiting patiently all week for this, and holy mother of all recaps, this was phenomenal.

    Like a true Lost fangirl, I have watched the finale 3 times, and I really thought I was all cried out…but then I read this, and I got all teary-eyed (and I NEVER cry over anything either but I teared up at Sun and Jin, and then I lost it with Claire, Kate, Charlie, and Aaron too!!), and all happy, and then sooooo sad because it’s truly all over. (And a lot of your thoughts were MY thoughts when I was watching the finale!)

    I want to thank you, Ack, for combining Lost with my fave pop culture and a dash of sarcasm. I feel like you’ve written these recaps tailor-made for me, so thanks, Ack, for adding the word Jears to my lexicon, for making my fiance think I may be a bit mental for simultaneously laughing and almost crying at the same time, and for helping me realize I’m not alone in my obsession. :)

    I have to ask, though – how many times did you Jear up writing this?

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